Effective diet?

Here we are, catching her in the act at various stages. Dazee pretty much stuffs as much food as she can in her mouth. She stops when her gag reflex kicks in and then she throws up. Yesterday, I pulled out a grape tomato, and two large strawberries. It was like seeing a magic trick (the one where he pulls out a very long string of hankerchiefs from something unlikely, like a parrot's throat). As I pulled each morsel out of her mouth, I was in complete amazement over how she got that much volume of food inside her mouth.

4 girls!

It was like running a high quality day care today; we had 4 children in our backyard. High quality because the ratio of adult to children was 1 to 1. Although some of us weren't paying that much attention...

Blondes have more fun

I like to think my 2nd daughter is blond. Her hair is lighter than everyone else in the family. But when we put her next to an Aryan baby, it's pretty clear, she's a brunette, and a chunky one to boot.

Give me some of what they're smokin'

A friend of Josh's from college, (names have been changed to protect their privacy), Smoke, his wife and one year old daughter came to stay one night with us. It was a lot of fun having them and for me, it was interesting to see how another couple behaves towards each other and towards their child. Mostly it made me feel like J and I are so type A. They are so relax-o. Smoke even fell asleep on the living room floor, when he woke, I offered some fruit medley, he declined ever so contentedly, "No thanks, I don't think I could be happier than I am right now." But we only had a half hour to get them out the door to the airport! Josh and I started shitting bricks for them. We tried to rush them, but Smoke gave me a nice talk at a very leisurely pace on how he's missed flights before and concluded that it's really OK to miss them. One of the most egregious examples he gave was missing a flight to a work retreat. He had a to buy another ticket on the spot on his own dime! To which Josh offered his iron-clad philosophy, "We don't miss flights in this family. That's not an option." I felt a little nostalgic for my old life, where I didn't stress about missing flights. I guess I could go either way, Type Anal or zzz. Being with J has made me a little more uptight about flights.

Mike Tyson bee

Whenever there's a bee nearby, I always thought Josh went nuts. He would go into this panicky, fearful, over-protective mode - "Stay away!" he would bark, while commanding me to run as fast as possible. If I didn't go berserk like him and make a show of flight-or-fight, he would take matters into his own hands and try to push or throw me away from the bee. In fact, I always thought he was over-reacting and treated his reaction as Tarzan-like chest thumping but in a funny way because a big man was afraid of a little bee.
Well I got my come-uppance last week when I got stung by a bee. It's been ridiculously painful. Because it's only the second bee sting in my lifetime, I didn't really have a good idea of how much it can hurt.
Then I recalled that in Thai, a bee sting is called a bee punch. That's a much more accurate statemtent of what happened to me. I got punched by a bee.

Mutiny

Why are companies such flexible job haters? Who came up with this 9-5 (or longer), five days a week bullshit? Many people I know would love to have a flexible job - I know I would love it and be just as productive if not more, if I could get Wednesdays off or work from home 2 days a week or work part time and job-share with someone.

Literally bringing home the bacon

Adding to my idea of mandating food scrap recycling, I'm ready to impose that everyone with a suitable plot of land grow something edible or raise sheep, pigs, chickens or cows. Wouldn't it be great if we could exchange produce/meat/livestock products with neighbors? I offered this idea to Josh on the train but he poo-pooed it, thinking that we can't abandon technology and go back to our ancestral model of acquiring food. Ironically, I thought growing your own stuff is more ethical and sustainable...Last night I was reading a few things about Monsanto, how much chemical processing and fossil fuels it takes to get food to the table and how evil and scary certain industrial practices are. I really feel bad for how animals are treated and scared about all the antibiotics and hormones used in meat/dairy/egg processing.

Don't call Social Services on us

Wow! The new camera is so good at capturing images that it's exposing all of our parental weaknesses. Note to self: wipe boogers off child.

If I were mayor

Why doesn't every municipality mandate food scrap recycling? An added benefit is that we will have compost available for the entire town. Instead, every town I've ever lived in has recycling only for glass, metal and paper. It takes a lot of energy to recycle these things and who knows if it's worth it in the end? Whereas composting food scrap is easy, fast and really works.

Hurray!

My very cheap husband finally caved in after years of whining (from me, in case anyone is wondering) and got us a digital SLR. Since it's late right now, the only pictures we can take are of our kids sleeping. I'm amazed at the quality because the room was pitch black when these pictures were taken (which also explains why they're at an awkard angle). I've instructed my mom to dress them in their Sunday's best when I come home from work tomorrow so I can take pictures of them.

Nice picture

Here's a nice picture of my two girls.

JS - a different kind of terrorist

So my hubby "hijacks" an email I receive from a friend asking about backpacks to carry babies in on hiking trips. He preaches to her about his moral values- "Cheap Cheap here (we use "husband" and "cheap" interchangeably.) We have the "backcountry" by kelty kids. You can have it (or borrow) if you like. It's decent for the kid carrying (well padded and comfortable), but doesn't have any extra storage. I think we've used two times ... maybe three. Not enough for each family to own one ... I think one per every 4 families is probably enough .. maybe 1 per 5 or 6 families. So feel free to use - also to come visit again. I have a push lawnmower (no gas or electricity) ... you can try that out too if you want. ;)"

Wicked witch or sensible?

Many moms give their 2-3 yr old ice cream at play dates. I feel like I can't refuse it for Sadie because it would create such an awkward situation. I don't give my children ice cream - ever. Yesterday at the pre-school picnic, even the school arranged for an ice cream truck. Both children and adults were lining up for treats, but Josh and I poo-pooed it and even told the school director we thought it was a mistake.

Good thing that my deprived daughter doesn't even like ice cream, maybe because she's never been exposed to it. The few times she's been tainted by getting it, she took a bite or two and turned up her nose. Yay Sadie!!!

Josh's bevy of babes

I wonder, while growing up, if it ever occurred to my whitey white Jewy husband that he'd be living with an East Asian harem.

Random pics

Here are the fabled monogrammed towels -- I pulled together three of them.

Whoa! The grass really grew at my mother's old house.

Lost and found: my sanity

Whenever I lose anything important that I use on a daily basis, like a wallet, I always feel shame, despair, regret and helplessness. Recently I lost my cell phone. Predictably, psychological trauma unfolded. For the first 4-5 days, I pretended I knew where it was. Oh I left it in the office or in my coat pocket, I repeated to myself. My husband ignored my self-delusion, sprang to action by activating a new phone for me. Even though I had a new phone, I still had a sinking feeling and felt pangs for the old one. I had a degree of certainty that I lost it either at the NY public library or at Naniwa, a Japanese restaurant. For a few more days, I did nothing to recover my cell phone except fret about it a few times daily. Then by day 10, I started writing down recover cell phone on my to-do list. I still did nothing about it.
Today, day 15, I got the courage to call the library. I got disconnected or hung up on, about six times by their lost and found department. When I finally I got through, I was asked to describe my cell phone. I was at a loss for words. How the fuck do you describe a cell phone? I blathered something unintelligible. Verizon, I shouted (as this is the service provider). Then I helpfully blurted, Motorola. He put me on hold, came back and said, I didn't find anything and then hung up on me. I was at the peak of frustration because I wondered if he didn't find anything based on my very descriptive description or he really went into the lost and found box, encountered a black hole and dutifully reported back the truth to me.
After this unsavory experience, I met Josh and a friend for lunch at Naniwa. As soon as the waitress came by, I relayed to her how I lost a cell phone. I could see Josh rolling his eyes. He pretty much wrote it off and considered it gone. She told me that I should go check with the hostess because they did find a cell phone and do it now before it gets too busy. Excited by this shred of hope, I ran up to the front and told the waitress at the bar that I lost a cell phone. She nodded and told me to go to the coat check guy. I told him about my situation and that I lost it about two weeks ago. He made me feel as if he did have it. After a few minutes of wait time, he came back with a shoe box full of random possessions, like an umbrella and other stuff, each item carefully wrapped up with white printer paper, secured by a rubber band, with a date and Japanese lettering written on them. Cell phone, cell phone, he recited as he rummaged through this box and then he handed me something that looked like a pickle jar. He laughed and I laughed. Then he gave me my cell phone! I was so happy, I wanted to hug and kiss him. And I could tell he was really happy for me too.
I giddily ran back to our table and relayed this wonderful story to my lunch companions. I felt like the people at Naniwa really know how to run a lost and found. Every person at Naniwa that I talked to knew about the cell phone. It was like they have a Town Hall meeting at every opening or closing to talk about all that was found, so that they can provide a reassuring experience to frazzled customers like me. A well run lost and found is a real competitive advantage. I think they should go into a highly lucrative consulting business of how to run a tip top shape lost and found.

Gardening - me, uncharacteristically methodical, him, uncharacteristically hasty!

Having worked with Josh a few times in the garden, I can make a hasty conclusion that his approach is more big picture to my tendency to be a perfectionist.
When we planted the cherry tree, he dug a pathetic, shallow hole. I insisted on something deeper. Maybe it's easier for me to be more exacting because I don't have to do the work; in the case of the cherry tree hole, he was forced to make it bigger at my behest.
I don't know if I can change my garden personality. Today for example, I got really upset that he tried to transplant multiple bulbs at one time into shallow holes, while I spent a lot of time preparing a nice trench for them. After that, I gingerly placed each bulb into their new deep home. Because I started working pretty late in the day, I quickly ran out of light and that forced me to stop working. Otherwise, I feel like I could have spent all day staring at my trench trying to perfect it. Similarly, while we were weeding, Josh took out a few of them, in a lackadaisical, half-assed way and then he abandoned the task and quickly moved on (or got distracted) to something else. It was interesting to see this hasty side of Josh, as he's normally a lot more patient and deliberate.
I went to work at full speed, determined to pull them ALL out. I felt a lot of consternation if I didn't do something just right - if the top part of a weed came out but not the roots, I was very critical of myself. After I cleared the area in a major way, I lamented to Josh how I could spend all day weeding this bed and still feel like the job was not done.
My approach was time consuming and inefficient, but doing it any other way made me feel like I was doing something wrong. Take cooking, for instance, he is more of a perfectionist, taking great care in preparing meals, while I'm more of a speed queen.
I have a hypothesis - for activities that we do all the time, maybe because we are more skilled and have more practice, we can and tend to do those with haste or finesse. On the other hand, for activities that are new or occasional, we feel a little intimdiated by the foreigness so we approach them slowly and deliberately like a nerdy beginner. And for the biggest hastiest conclusion of them all -- because I tend to be a hasty person, maybe that means I tend to feel comfortable simplifying everything while people like Josh take the time to consider each situation uniquely? I do feel like I can get to the crux of a situation quickly, in fact, I enjoy forming conclusions from very little evidence. I guess I'd make a poor scientist, because I'd rather spend time intuiting than actually setting up an experiment. Or maybe I just need to figure out areas where I have good intuition, then I can beat out any slow-assed scientist any time. I think I can read into people's emotions and intentions a lot better than Josh. Somehow, I can create a lot of context out of thin air, while he places a lot of emphasis on words. I did read somewhere that words count for only 7% of meaning, things like body language, tone, etc. account for the rest. If that's true, that's good for me, because it's harder for me to pay attention to words. I prefer to read faces and tones.
I think I'm going hastily end my long rambly post.

Border control and immigration

I don't agree with all of Mayor Bloomberg's points in his testimony, made in 2006 to the Senate, but I'm really excited by his plain language, liberalism and realism.

I especially love this passage: "It’s as if we expect border control agents to do what a century of communism could not: defeat the natural market forces of supply and demand… and defeat the natural human desire for freedom and opportunity. You might as well as sit in your beach chair and tell the tide not to come in. As long as America remains a nation dedicated to the proposition that “all men are created equal, endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness,” people from near and far will continue to seek entry into our country."

New (to us) computer

Our new computer was set up last night! Woo hooo!!!!

I was sitting outside the house, digging up bulbs when the UPS guy made the delivery. From far away, I could make out the super big font on the box, "REFURBISHED", it screamed, flaunting how my husband likes to buy things. I would have thought that the marketers would have had the good sense to spare our fragile egos by not advertising to the world that we buy non-virginal goods. It's stupid, but I did feel a little embarrassed.

I'm not the star

Invariably, in all of our first birthday party pics, the mom is always cut off.

Is the photographer (dad) to blame or is this a fact of life that moms are merely lap props?

I have a lot of evidence, here's the most recent one. Note big sis' hand going in for the center of the daisy, or raisin. The plate that the cake is sitting on was painted by me, while the delicious carrot cake was baked by my mother in law!

The good old days

Last night we made my father in law trudge out an old projector along with boxes and boxes full of slides from over 30 years ago. It was fun to see pictures of Josh and his sister at the same age as my children. I liked seeing the similarities of how the genes got passed down. Daisy looks and acts just like Josh used to!

I don't know if my father in law enjoyed this activity or not - he certainly tried to ruin all the fun. He sat at a distance, was hemming and hawing or frowning the whole time. Not only that, he threatened to throw out all the slides, calling them useless trash. Can you imagine?! Who doesn't enjoy going through old photographs, talking about good memories, pointing out the out-dated cars/technologies, fads and seeing things you didn't see before?

Here are some highlights:
1. The baby car seat that Bailee sat in gave way to some riotous laughter-- it looked like a funny contraption, had a fat rubber tube that restrained her, but best of all, pudgy baby Bailee sat shotgun, facing forward!!!!
2. My mother in law, sporting long flowing hair (which tempted me to get the same carefree romantic hairstyle for myself) to her waist, tending to the garden with her parents. Josh pointed out the cars in the background - so 70s! Even a VW bug bus!!!
3. The baby high chair was made of wood and looked like a piece of furniture, it even had turned legs and a fan back. Nowadays, everything is plastic and made in China. As a side note, I used a nail cutter to cut a hang nail while I was there and noticed how well it worked (not like all the junky nail cutters we own). I flipped it over and saw the engraving, Made in the USA! NOTHING is made in the USA (except my kids) in my house! I'm sure it's over 30 years old, just like everything else in Josh's house.
4. Pictures of the same plant, still alive, from more than 30 years ago, and it grew more than 4 times its height but in the same itty bitty pot!
5. The pre-cursor to my husband's current white, straight and perfect teeth - crooked, chipped and pretty rotten looking. (Aren't I a terrible person?!)
6. My mother in law, jauntily dressed and accessorized while on vacation in Europe. Can you imagine that she walked long days on cobblestone in cute shoes? In comparison, I pretty much look like a slob in my sneaks. I bet her shoes were made in Italy and my Pearl Izumi sneakers are made in China.

Farnk, I don't think you should throw out those slides. Imagine the endless possibilities of entertaining blog entries from poring over them.

More fun than a barrel of monkeys

The smile shutter feature on Sony cameras is actually effective. You can even set the sensitivity of it to detect "Low", "Medium" or "High" smiles. I tried to trick the camera by making funny faces that weren't really smiles and it knew!

Road trip!

We're packing up the kids and going to Burlington, VT for Memorial Day weekend in our newly acquired mini-van, the Honda Odyssey. Sometimes I wish we had an RV so I can poop, pee and wash my hands on the road.

What part of the fish do you like?

There's been very little sunshine since we put in the first plantings. Nothing but rain. I feared that some of the miniscule seedlings would get washed away. I'm happy to report that the cilantro is doing awesome. We're going to have a lot of cilantro this summer.

So I need to brainstorm what we can use it for, like guacamole and Thai beef noodle soup.

Interestingly, I think white people only use the top part of the plant or the leaves, discarding the rest, whereas Asians also use the stalk and Thais consider the roots to be the best part of the plant. In conventional supermarkets like A&P, my mom was mystified that they don't even sell the roots, the clueless white people cut off the cilantro roots!!!

This reminds me of a few anecdotes:
1. We once took a co-worker out to Wu Lang Ye, an authentic Szechuan restaurant where you can get a menu in printed only in Chinese. He ordered in Chinese and a variety of interesting-looking food stuffs arrived. He was so excited and relayed to us how special all of this food was and how hard it is to find it in NY. He encouraged all of us to try but no one was brave enough except a white co-worker. As he started chewing on the food, he asked what he was eating. My Chinese co-worker non-chalantly pointed to each of the dishes in front of him and recited, "Tongue", "Pork Stomach", "Intestine". My white co-worker nearly choked and the rest of us were laughing so hard, we were tearing.
2. A Chinese friend of mine from childhood told me a story about a fish that only has one eye. When that fish is served in her family, her parents fight over who gets to eat the eye.
3. My aunts in Thailand only eat the head and the tail of a fish. My mom claims that the best part of a fish is the cheek.
4. Another childhood Chinese friend told me a saying that Chinese people will eat anything with a stomach pointing down. She clarified that it meant Chinese people will eat all animals.
5. I think the best part of a crab are the eggs. When cooked, they look very strange and are bright orange in color. When I order crab in a non-Asian restaurant, I'm always disappointed that they've scraped out the eggs. I can hear my mom thinking suspiciously, they're saving the best parts for themselves, but I'm pretty sure they scrape the eggs out of the crab (consider it innards) and chuck it. Probably the same thing happens with fish. I'm always disappointed when I order whole fried fish and the eggs are not there. I console myself by thinking that I got a male fish. Fried fish eggs are just so heavenly.
6. Another friend interned at Per Se. Part of his job was to do arcane things like remove a tiny little part of a lettuce and discard the rest.

We need some POTTY POWER!

We have been very frustrated that our daughter is not yet potty trained. But maybe she's not really delayed in this competency, based on where we live. Josh ordered the DVD, POTTY POWER and it's apparently super popular around here, as I just got an email from Netflix advising me of a delay due to the title's inavailability from my "local shipping center". My DVD is going to come from "Coppell, TX" where everyone has all the potty power they need.

Menstrual Cups - first of a series

WARNING: Graphic and intended for ladies only!

The day before Mother's day, I got my first period after 3 1/2 years of nothing due to pregnancy and breastfeeding. I was ill-prepared and felt helpless as if it was literally my very first period. I finally found some pads around the house and remembered again how much I hate them and tampons. What to do? Enter menstrual cups! Here's a pic of the varieties available.

I ordered a Diva Cup (model 1) from iherb used the referral code KAS985 and my total came out to $15.49 (including shipping), which is at least 10 dollars cheaper than I can find any where else. I ordered it on Thursday and it arrived on Monday, so I'm a happy customer.

There's a nice community of cup users at Livejournal, menstrualcups.org. I even posted my first entry and received 3 responses from other ladies. It's really very cool.

Hence, I will catalog my personal experience with the Diva cup for my blog readers because this is the type of journalism you can expect from me.

Earthquake in China

My father in law's emailed comments, in praise of NPR's All Things Considered's live earthquake coverage, were read on program on May 15, 2008. Click here to listen to it.

Coincidentally, this morning, I read an especially poignant NYT article, In Rubble, Couple Clung to Each Other, and to Life . It's about the physical and emotional struggles of a Chinese couple trapped in earthquake debris.

Our Anniversary

Birfdays

Mrs. Renfro's salsa

is delicious. I like the Mango Habanero with some roasted salmon.

Diabolical baby eater - me

Can you believe that baby corn is literally a baby corn? I thought maybe they might be a midget or small variety of corn, but in actuality they are regular corn picked at immaturity, before they reach their adult size. I feel a little funny eating a baby corn now. I have the same feeling eating an egg. It's like I'm eating a fetus. I wonder if pro-life supporters eat baby corn or eggs?

BTW, I always thought baby corn from a can tastes really bland and gross. It was not until I went to Thailand that I had fresh baby corn. I was hooked; it's so delicious. If you go to Thailand, make sure you eat some baby corn. You can get it at any restaurant as part of a mixed vegetable stir fry. Factoid: Thailand is one of the world's biggest exporters of baby corn!

Cassandra and the beanstalk

Looking at seed catalogs or web sites is so mouth-watering.
I love their copy writers: delicious and nutrious! touts one. Pretty to look at AND good to eat! entices another.
I'm ready to empty my bank account on seeds.

Garden of Eatin'

Today, we put the tomatoes, jalapenos, basil, cilantro and dill into the ground! I'm especially excited about the tomatoes because I picked out some neat ones (Grape tomatoes, Lemon Boy, Black Prince and a surprise rainbow heirloom tomato -- ooh will it be pink, orange, black, yellow or who knows?!) as well as the regulars (Early Girl, Better Boys and Beef Steak).
We're also going to plant Thai or holy basil, if we can ever locate the plant or seeds.

Whitey white!

Here's Josh's before and after. Didn't work very well but giving him a wife beater cracked me up!

Given the title of this post, I should be running for prez. Eat your heart out, Hil!

Half white

Here's Daisy's Simpson's avatar. My theory seems to be correct so far. Onward to a fully white person!

All look same

I was lamenting to my Asian co-workers/neighbors today how difficult it was to create an Asian avatar. For example, Yahoo avatar only offers one Asian face!
So they created Simpsons avatars of themselves through Simpsonizeme.com and used them as the name plates on their doors. We were all cracking up.
Now that I'm in the comfort of my own home, I decided to load in a picture of myself and create my Simpson avatar. Behold, the before and after pics.
(I chose the skin tone, sex and nerdy style of dress for my avatar.)
As you can see it didn't work very well for me. So I'm going to do Daisy next (half white) and then Josh (fully white) to see how they turn out.

Delay on my monogrammed towels

My towels are back-ordered and not scheduled to arrive until early June. Bummer!!!!

Stuph!!!

We're going to be getting a new camera and computer. Woo hoo!

Happy Birthday Daisy!!!

My little one turned one today!

Today, she took 62 steps before falling! A few days ago, she reached a max of 47 steps and less than a week ago, I counted around 14 steps.

Check this out

The photobook of our Thailand and Hawaii vacations that I've been working on.

Sadie and Dazee

I thought this was a nice picture of the two of them.

Flowers

I think these colorful Rembrandt tulips came out the nicest in the garden. They are tall, dramatic and colorful.

These were interesting purple pastel fringey tulips that my brother sent to my mom for Mother's day.

New hobby du jour

Digital scrapbooking! I'm going to make photobooks to:
a) pass the time
b) find a use for the thousands of pictures that I'm taking of my kids
c) give an outlet to my "creative" energy

I'm going to have to figure out which vendor and which software to use; I will be reviewing them all on the blog. I already started by saying I think the Mypublisher software sucks. But this is because I know how to use PhotoShop. Ideally, I'd like to use something less intense than Photoshop but don't want to use simpleton bloatware.

Crappy software

I'm quite upset over the Mypublisher software. First off, the dang thing makes you install a local application that can easily be web-based. Then it has the nerve to not give you a choice of which directory to install and where to keep the files that it produces. Finally, if you delete unwanted files, it doesn't show up in the program any more but it's still being secretly stored on your hard drive. Making one stinky 50MB photo book costed me at least 600MB of space on my hard drive. I'm supremely pissed.

I'm at the same grammatical level as Mike Tyson

How is it that I skated by over 30 years of life without knowing that CANNOT is ONE word and not two? A co-worker of mine helpfully pointed this out and I'm so grateful. She had courage to tell me the equivalent of you have spinach stuck between your teeth. THANKS JK!!!!

On another note, I checked with my husband and office neighbors, they all knew it was one word too. Josh added, altogether is one word. I knew that. I added ARE NOT are two words. Except I think I said, ARE NOT is two words.

Confession: I nearly failed the test of standard written english (TSWE), a test of grammar that I had to take with my SATs. This is why I'm saying I'm on par with Mike Tyson.

Bummer!

It will be a full month since I placed my monogrammed towels order before I receive them in my greedy little hands.
Stay tuned - when I receive them in little less than two weeks, I will provide a full report with pictures galore.

Because life is so short...

I'm going to pick up my goody goody husband's habits. Last weekend, I decided that I will now garden. Tonight I just got back from exercising with him. I jogged slowly while he power walked and we enjoyed a good conversation.

Dazee walking!

All of a sudden, Dazee can walk many steps. Literally, only yesterday she was falling down the stairs due to intentional parental negligence and last week she fell into a hole we dug. How fast they grow!
She's going to be one in exactly one week!
At the end of the video, you get glimpse of her sister trying to kill her. The loud giggling is my mother. Sadie is saying in Thai - Moo Tong (Dazee's Thai nickname) is walking!

For my dial up customers, the video is 14.5MB so it might be too frustrating for you.

Make work play

For quite some time, I had been struggling when attempting to feed my younger daughter a bottle of milk. She is very clear about her displeasure: her body stiffens, she bucks her head back and forth like an angry bull, pushes away the bottle with much force and screams bloody hell.

There's even a funny story about Josh feeding Daisy. Once, he was asked to feed Daisy and was given information by my mother that she will "act" resistant, but keep persisting and she will take her bottle. He relayed to me that he used all of his force and he could not overcome her resistance. First he started pushing on her and she pushed back. He also tried to force the bottle down in a stealthy way, to which she responded with effective blocking. Can you imagine a 170 lb man taking on a baby?!

Anyway, Daisy's scorn for milk sent me into a tailspin of scientitific and emotional analysis - did she not like the temperature of the millk, was the composition of milk to formula ratio too large or small, did she like to eat upstairs or down, was she pissed at me for going back to work, is she mad about weaning from nursing, etc.? I kept adjusting whatever variables I could think of, hoping to cure her contempt and get the feeding done. These experiments yielded some success (though inconsistent, much like how the primaries are playing out for Mrs. Clinton).
Yesterday, I might have found the silver bullet. Instead of approaching feeding her as something I needed to do, as an end goal, I approached it as a process.

I put her into my lap in the "position", she clearly knew what was going on and started her baby-in-distress routine. But instead of trying to shove the bottle of milk into her mouth, I let her pull off the cap. Then she put it back on. She did this about six times, each time I told her in a high pitched baby voice "open" or "close". This activity was highly amusing to her baby senses. Then in her excitement or lack of dexterity, she drops the cap. So I move it to feed her and she drinks a little milk. After a few sips, she pulls off as if I'm trying to gag her and we play the open and close game again. After a few volleys, she starts to open her mouth wide to "eat" the cap, I take this as an opportunity to pull the cap away and insert the bottle. Success.

I had to approach the feeding as an activity that was an enjoyable activity for both of us. I went from "I must feed her" to "I must trick her" to "I will enjoy her".

My little geisha

This was taken at a Japan fair.

Humiliated!

On Friday, we attended adult Shabbat services. As I walked through the parking lot, I noticed a group of people, all decked out in finery. Men with wool suits and women in fashionable tops and skirts. I had a sinking feeling about my own outfit as well as my daughter's; we were both wearing tight skinny jeans with sneakers.

As it turns out, you're supposed to dress up for Shabbat. My Jewish husband failed to tell us that. I hate violating a dress code or being disrespectful and on top of that, I was actually called to the bima for an aliyah. I wanted to crawl into a hole!

While I was up there, one of the rabbis started rubbing Saydee's sweatshirt and remarked, Oooh what a nice sweatshirt. I don't know if he was trying to be a jerk or was totally clueless but I was humiliated enough without this extra attention.

At the bima, I'm standing next to a women who generally looks like a slob. I barely recognized her with make up and all decked out in a velvet suit. Another woman next to me is wearing couture like clothes - a pleated silk skirt, silver silk sweater top and her neck was accessorized with a diamond vine necklace.

I still feel humiliated!!!

Busy weekend

Lilacs! Not particularly beautiful on the bush, but after I cut them and arranged them into some vases, they are quite nice indoors. Fills up the bathroom with a great smell, unlike what we're normally used to.
Some beautiful tulips Josh planted in our front and back yard. I was skeptical that they would come up given how late in the season they went in.

We'd been admiring the weeping cherry trees in our neighborhood so we got one yesterday and planted it. We dug a 2 ft hole (whew!). Sadie was a huge help in pushing the dirt in her wagon while poor Dazee fell into the hole! Here's Sadie standing in front of the finished product. Scraggly-looking, but I'm excited to see the progress over the next few years.

Backlight setting!

Look at the difference between these two pictures of the same thing with a different camera setting!

Date Night!

Yesterday, for the first time in a long time, Josh and I had a date night. We went bowling and had a pretty good time. In our first game, Josh was on fire and scored an impressive 136. I was pretty hot myself with my score of 94. Then we bowled a second game and our scores really soured. 100 for Josh and 77 for me.

On another note, we were shocked how expensive bowling is compared to our youthful memories. $7 per game and $4.50 for shoe rental. Ripoff!

My daughter the model with a gut

I've been talking or half-joking a lot about pimping my kids to pay for college. I totally forgot about how my daughter's photograph has already been published!Last year we were approached by a photographer for the Daily News at the New York Botanical Garden. Sadie was not in a good mood for pictures. The photographer took hundreds and probably none came out good but I think she thought Sadie was so cute, she used a picture any way. Check it out the Daily News website for the online version of the "story". I never bought a copy of that day's newspaper, maybe I should, for her portfolio of pro-bono work. Oh wait, wrong career.

Caption: Sadie Star, 2, looks like a little flower herself as she points to the colorful display.

Heartbreak hotel

Each morning, before I leave for work, my younger daughter is gripping tightly as I struggle to put her down or pass her to my mother. My older daughter is standing on a step stool, waiting for a hug and a kiss. Before I step out of the door, I see my second daughter writhing and crying in my mom's arms, hoping I'll come back and take her back into my arms. As I walk out, I turn around and I see my older daughter's face pressed to the window by the door. I wave and look back a few times until I can't see her anymore.

Living Large

While my husband is eating, in the executive dining room, a daily hearty breakfast of toasted bagel with lox, tomatoes, onions and capers, fresh squeezed citrus juices, yogurt and who knows what else he’s cramming down his mouth, I’ve used our executive health services twice in the last 3 months.

I can only rave about the refined VIP services. They must be mistaking me for somebody else, but I like to play along. Let me describe how today’s visit went.

I called at 11:30 and got booked for a 12PM appoint – the same day! As I walk in, I’m surrounded by hardwood floors and Pottery Barn furnishings. After a few minutes of sitting on an abundantly cushioned sofa reading Town and Country magazine, someone politely interrupts me to apologize for the wait. The doctor will be with you shortly, she assures me.

A few minutes later, the doctor comes into the waiting area, greets me, shakes my hand and introduces herself and I’m almost pissed that I didn’t get to finish reading/daydreaming in the article about how Georgio Armani’s niece furnishes her apartment in Milan. In a regular doctor’s office, I’d be sitting on crappy, stained and un-cushioned industrial furniture with exposed bolts, reading a wrinkled pored over copy of something like Reader’s digest, waiting for an hour until some loud, obnoxious and uncheerful employee shouts and mispronounces my name with unmistakable irritation.

Back to my executive health nirvana -- There are no forms to fill in or long checklists of ailments to complete because the doctor asks specific questions, listens to you and takes down notes. Then the doctor takes your vital stats, not a nurse or assistant so there’s no time lost in “changing of the guard” as different employees parade in and out of your exam room.

Then I go to have blood work done. The phlebotomist wants to know if I prefer blood to be drawn from my left arm or right. She tries to reassure me because I don’t like being pricked with a needle. While she inserts the needle, she engages me in a banal conversation, she wants to verify that I’m wearing cashmere and how soft she thinks it is. After that’s completed, I’m invited into the wait area to eat or snack. This is where I hit pay dirt big time. Grilled vegetables, salmon, fresh squeezed Valencia orange juice, an array of cheeses, sesame crackers, non-fat apple muffins and on and on await me. I munch on some California roll, help myself to some shrimp kebabs and crunch on some steamed vegetable medley- cauliflower, broccoli and carrots. It’s like I’m at a spa. I can’t finish my food so I decide to carry out the leftovers. Someone asks me if I want a bag and I feel like a total chazer.

After I’m done, I check out with the receptionist, who provides me with the bill, perfectly folded in a ecru envelop, as if I just spent $10,000 on knick knacks. My tab? $15.

The only thing that can dampen the situation is how much information is released to your employer. I’m going to assume that it’s private but you never know. It’s obviously subsidized, insurance could never endorse or reimburse for the refined, service-oriented experience.

Sushi - more American than apple pie

So my diatribe on sushi spurred some off-line outcries. Yes it's true, sushi makes me gag. This is a big step for me - I don't like admitting it- it sounds so unsophisticated that I don't eat sushi. I also hate sourdough bread. There.

I discovered a new and effective diet

...eat foods you hate. Yesterday I forced myself to eat sushi for lunch. It made me want to gag. By dinner time, I was still reeling from the effects of eating the most horrid food I can think of.

This morning, I'm still not fully recovered. Even my favorite foods don't seem enticing.

I'm feeling thin and cranky. I think I'll go use heroin now and hope for a modeling contract.

Despiccable selling strategies

Whenever I get a manicure or my eyebrows threaded or waxed in a new salon, they get so excited to sell additional services in a not so polite manner.

Do you want a mustache wax? they often ask. If I politely say no, they up the ante. How about your back, do you want that waxed? Jesus! It's so wrong to prey on my self-esteem so that they can make more money.

Josh relayed a similar story at Saks. Someone was trying to sell perfume to him but he politely declined. So they escalated it to do you want to get skincare? He declined to do that. Then they lashed the final blow, do you want to get something to correct the sun damage on your face?

How can these scum-bags look at themselves in the mirror every morning? How can they live with themselves, using these cheap and insulting tactics to sell products or services?

They grow up so fast!

We took Sadie to work today. Co-workers and I helped apply lipstick, blush and nail polish on her. She was loving it. She insisted on walking around with my high heels on.

It's a freaky how a little makeup and high heels instantly transformed my cute toddler daughter into a beauty pageant vamp.

Doody talk

People love it!

Here's a link to an Advertising Age article on how direct the toilet paper ads have been getting and recently, their sales figures are up.

Here's a link to a Charmin ad where a bear gets pieces of toilet paper vacuumed off his behind and later they shake their groove thang more confidently.

This doesn't make any sense

On weekends, I wake up like 2 hours later than weekdays and I can easily skip breakfast without even realizing it.

On weekdays, if I eat something piddling like a banana as soon as I wake up, I can last until a late lunch (past 1 PM). However, if I eat a nice breakfast (like a bowl of oatmeal and granola), when I arrive at work (about 1 1/2 hours after I wake up), by 11 AM my stomach is growling and I feel so dizzy for food. Why do I starve for food and much sooner the more and later I eat on weekdays?!!! You would think a big bowl of oatmeal can last me to a late lunch but as soon as I eat it, I'm ready for a steak.

So excited!!!

I just ordered 21 monogrammed towels from Horchow.
I'll get them in two weeks.

A few things that could dampen the situation:
1. What if they arrive and the quality or colors are not what I expected? Because they're personalized, I won't be able to return them. I probably won't have much luck trying to eBay KSJ monogrammed towels.
2. What if in the meantime or even at a later date, I find other towels I love? Then I'm going to kick myself.

Finally, how come towels come in such pale, demure colors? I'd love to get a rich royal purple but I can't find this anywhere. Moreover, the purple family in towels seems like a rarity. Most people want their towels in shades of white or blue? WHY?!

What Jews and Asians love to talk about

Who pays?
Last night my husband, sister and I got into a very spirited discussion with my in-laws about who should pay for what and how to make that a reality without awkwardness.

Who pays for dinner? How much?
First topic, dinner with a big group. Obviously if it's at your house, you pick up the "tab". But if you invite someone out to dinner to a restaurant and it's for an event like your birthday or because you won some kind of award, then I think it's a little tricky. My in-laws cited an event where they thought the person organizing should have picked up the tab but the bill was split among "guests". My sister thinks that if it doesn't take place in your home, you always split the bill. I think the most awkward thing is that if all you had was a salad or a Coke and the rest of the group consumes a lot more food and drinks, should you pay the average?

Dang it you people who order the most expensive thing on the menu or you lushes that hold your alcohol well because you're increasing my cost to hang out with you....
I do take an internal mental note of people who order the most expensive thing on the menu and then casually pay the average (why don't they loudly cheer what a good deal they're getting?). I think people should put in the average and subtract a little less or add a little more depending on what you ordered. That means you have to pay attention to prices and what you ordered; For some people, it's pretty hard to do and it's not how they eat out or celebrate -- I can appreciate this lifestyle difference. I read in an etiquette book somewhere that if you can't deal with the unfairness of the situation of paying more than what you ate/ordered then you shouldn't go because hanging out with the group harmoniously supersedes fairness. I do think it's an arbitrage situation at the expense of the group for some people who would never order the most expensive thing on the menu if they had to foot the entire bill. So boo on them.

Who pays for what a wedding? Who buys a gift for whom?
The second topic was who foots the bill for what at a wedding and who gets a present for whom. The whole thing is a joke to me. I guess it makes sense to have all these arcane rules if you marry young because you don't have a lot of money so you rely on various people to pay for various parts of your wedding. (Bride's parents pay for the wedding, groom's parents pay for the honeymoon, blah blah blah) A lot of it can be inefficient. My husband served as an usher for a wedding so he had to pay for the tux rental. As his gift he received a men's grooming kit that he's tucked behind some drawer, never to see the light of day. What if the couple just pays for the tux rental and we forget about the "gift"? Or we split the cost of the tux rental with them? As a guest, I don't mind helping to pay for parts of it, I just don't want to be party to these inefficient customs that create more waste for landfills.

I doubt I'll get elected on this platform -- Wedding couples pay for everything. And no gifts!
I didn't get my bridesmaids gifts but I also didn't make them pay for the dresses that they wore. (I did make them pay beaucoup bucks to fly to Thailand.) Instead of having rules of who's supposed to pay for what, I'm of the mind set that the couple pay for everything (except transportation, hehehehe) and if you can't afford it, then no wedding or a smaller scale wedding. And I hate that the default is to get a gift for the couple. How about no gifts as the default? I'm sure a lot of people would tomato gun that idea.

Prescriptions for behaviors (especially my wallet) - Blech!
I hate having to get someone a gift out of custom, I prefer gift-giving when the mood strikes or when I come across something appropriate. Gift giving should be fun and meaningful for both parties, but often it's stressful for both the gifter and giftee because of ridiculous social confines and screwed up expectations.

My husband - a liberator of women?

When my marriage was impending, I practiced signing my new last name. But I could never get the hang of it since I'd been using another signature 20 years. Josh gave me the brilliant idea of keeping my signature even though I was changing my last name to his.
Today, a co-worker heaped praise for Josh's generous act of chivalry as he knows lesser men that would make their spouse change their signature to reflect something legibly closer to the new name.
I decided with new resolve to keep my signature no matter what happens to my last name. I think it's traumatic to have to change your signature no matter how much you practice.

Totally nutty

So peanuts aren't kosher for Passover for Ashkenazi Jews but walnuts, almonds and other nuts are.

Better to have blogged and lost than not blogged at all.

Wow, blogging's not like learning how to ride a bike (not that I would personally know if that adage is true or not) if you don't do it for a while, it feels unfamilar.

At one point, I was in the blog groove, blogging every day - it felt so natural. Now that I'm back from a month long break, blogging feels like hanging out with a best friend from elementary school.

Here are some other skills that I've lost:

1. Driving. Josh drives me every where. Now when I get into a car I feel like I don't even know where the steering wheel is. This is definitely ironic because when I first met him, he didn't know how to drive. I taught him how to drive a stick shift, I like to say.
2. Personal finances and investing. I used to pay my own bills and choose my own investments. Now I reach into my wallet, pluck out a credit card and sometimes I'm told that my card's been declined or cancelled (as a result of my husband chasing every deal or new card). And all my trading accounts have been liquidated. I have zero knowledge, therefore zero power. I self-medicate by spending and blogging.

Here's an idea of what I'm in charge of:
1. Household, kids, relationships, remembering stuff, computer stuff, electronic social networks (e.g. facebook, blogging), complaining

What *not* to say to a Mom

I've been involved in a little disagreement with my daughter's pre-school teachers.

Their defense? Something to the tune of we're only looking out for her best interest.

WTF?!!! What am I doing? Getting paid by them to say that?

What the heck are Bear Stearns employees doing?

JS, a male Bear Stearns employee talks to me in this third installment.

Me: It's been about two weeks since the merger with JPM was announced. What are you doing at work?
JS: My main business in pretty much dead. We're really not seeing any customer business. But I'm there because I'm waiting to see what the next step is. So I've been trying to develop a prop trading strategy. It's been at the very least interesting.
Me: Why would JPM want to buy a building with no business?
JS: I think we can get customers back. But we need to know what our current situation is because no one is going to bother getting customers until we know the status of our jobs. Until we know, we're just a shell.
Me: Anything newsworthy or juicy that only a Bear employee would know?
JS:People go on interviews and they basically do it confidentially [without telling anybody], when they're on those interviews, they also see their coworkers interviewing at the same place and same time. It's always a funny moment.
Me: Um, how do you know this?
JS: Personal experience. It happened to me.
Me: Someone at HQ was very angry as he relayed to me that they blocked takeareport.com. He conjectured that they must have figured out that too many employees were wasting their time there. So what websites are you going to?
JS: I don't go to websites that are not reasonably relevant.
Me: No jailbabes.com for you?
JS: No
Me: How can you take it? Just sitting there?
JS: I'm not just sitting there. There are middle office people who are trying to pass themselves off as traders. So they've been picking my brain asking endless questions about trading to pass themselves off as traders. The funny thing is there are some questions they ask that I have to tell them it's really outside the scope of what their brain can comprehend.
Me: What happens in a moment like that? How does it make them feel?
JS: They accept that.
Me: Don't they think you're a prick?
JS: I AM a prick. But they respect that I'm sharing my knowledge because no one else would take the time. My knowledge is broad and deep.
Me: Do you think they will be successful as traders?
JS: I don't think they'll be able to get a job like that.
Me: Why not? You've mentioned to me that interviews are just conversations, not really interviews.
JS: They are at the higher levels. At the more junior levels they are more detailed and less conversational.
Me: What if they wore a headset and you talked in their ear telling them how to answer each question?
JS: It could work with a lot of practice.
Me: So how do you get an entry level job as a trader?
JS: It's very difficult. Most people join after having a stint with a summer internship program or two.
Me: So the barriers to entry are high. I had no idea what I wanted to do junior or senior year of college to get it together and get specific internships that would lead to a full time job right after graduation...
JS: Yes, the job itself pays very well and it's not that hard.
Me: Are people still going to work on time?
JS: No, the place is thinning out. There aren't as many people there. And they come in later and leave earlier. I think a lot of people are taking time off right now.
Me: Are they getting paid for it?
JS: You can stop going in and still get paid.
Me: How do you know that?
JS: I think it'd be fine.
Me: How was the executive cafeteria compared to the regular cafeteria?
JS: I just found out that anyone can eat breakfast for free in the exec cafeteria if you wear a tie. Maybe you have to be an SMD but nobody checked. So I'll be going on a regular basis.
Me: What kind of offerings do they have in the exec cafeteria?
JS: Honestly it wasn't very good. Yogurt, fruit, juice, milk cereal. Some pastries. Cold bagels.
Me: What about the set up?
JS: Service is like a hotel and the set up is nice but the food is pretty basic, not impressive.
Me: Have you ever been in the executive bathrooms?
JS: Supposedly Ace Greenburg has a bathroom on our floor. But it's hard to believe that there's plumbing on that side of the building. But people seem to believe that it's true.
Me: I heard that the 14th floor has exec bathrooms.
JS: I only knew about the 14th floor having conference rooms. I'll go check it out [to see if there are any exec bathrooms] on Monday.
Me: Why?
JS: Our bathrooms are sucky. They're crowded. They stink.
Me: What do they stink of?
JS: Feces.
Me: Are people not flushing, is there poor ventilation; what's the cause?
JS: Large stinky dumps.
Me: Do you dump at work?
JS: I try to use a handicapped bathroom.
Me; Why is that better?
JS: Higher toilet seat.
Me: How does that help?
JS: Keeps my balls out of the cold water.
Me: I think that's a good end to this interview. Thank you very much, JS.

Addendum: After the interview and when my disgust for JS's final answer subsided, I thought about how it doesn't make any sense. The distance between the toilet seat and the water well / bowl would have to be greater than a regular toilet[for his balls not to hit the water], but when I think of handicapped toilets, I think of a higher base/stem/pedestal. I don't see how a higher base would help his situation.

URL Propagated so fast, I fell off my chair!

Within minutes of purchasing www.bearstearnsspouse.com, the domain has propagated and the URL works! Incredible!

I have a new blog!!!

Bear Stearns Spouse - that's what I am.
The new blog is at http://bearstearnsspouse.blogspot.com/ or http://www.bearstearnspouse.com/

I just bought the domain for $10, it will be a few days before the second link will work.
My Bear Stearns spouse is probably not happy about the money spent, equivalent to one share of Bear. But I'm in a weird emotional state, so I'm allowed to give myself petty spendthrift indulgences.

Blog - safe haven

So I had to get up and speak in front of the entire company today. I usually dread it because I don't think I'm very good at it and it scares the bejesus out of me. I prefer to interact with people one or one or write blogs as forms of communication.

Another blog from Lost in Dixie

Here goes another post from my friend, Lost in Dixie:
While in the doctor's office waiting room, I half listened to the television and a commercial on charmin showed up. This commercial featured 2 cute polar bears--each with brooms swatting each others' asses... they said, and this was offensive--you don't want "bits"--use charmin this is so disgusting!! who the hell gets bits unless you have a hairy AH
yet the fact that they chose "bears" indicates that they are a) appealing to men with hairy AHs--or who are as hairy as a bear b) children who think they are cute, will giggle, and then point to the screen.

My assessment is that "bits" is referring to lint (which would be totally relevant to bring up in a toilet paper commercial and if your AH is hairy, it could make a linty situation worse, but it's a problem even for people with bald AHs), not pieces of shit (I assume Dixie is grossed out because she thinks "bits" are pieces of shits?!)

But I'm going to have say that I don't want my blog to become a farce: an open forum to talk about your shit!

What the?

My good friend, Lost in Dixie, asked that I post this picture to my blog. She gave no explanation and since I'm pretty dorky, need to follow through on things and can't post stuff without appropriate attribution, I went to the website. I found out that it's from David Byrne's (Former head of the band Talking Heads?) blog and that the artist who originated this gave some commentary as to the meaning of it all. Before I provide that to you, I attempted to make sense of this photo by Christine Fichera.

A naked man is tied to a tree. A Cabbage patch kid is asking to be held or maybe is worshipping the naked man with shoes. Finally, there is a piece of orange on a little dish.

OK here's the artist's (Jarvis Rockwell, Norman Rockwell's son) explanation, straight from DB's blog - "That's essentially my father and me. My father is tied to a tree, with a light set up. I'm standing in a coracle with a pacifier in my mouth and the coracle has no prow, so it just floats like a lily pad. E.T. is reading from the book."

Hmmm...looks like I have as much clue about it as Jarvis.

1 out of 2 men prefer the blog over an actual mensch

In a random poll of 2 men (with selection bias), 1 out of 2 prefer the blog to the real me.

My in-laws have been staying with us for 4 days. During that time, my father in law kept complaining about my blog not being updated. In a fit of frustration, I blurted that I thought hanging out with me would be better than reading my blog. He pointed out that it wasn't.

In another unexpected turn of events, thankfully, I have a husband who'd rather talk me than read my blog.

Hamantaschen - my new favorite dessert

My mother in law makes the bestest hamantaschen. They are so incredibly delicious; I could eat myself into diabetes and obesity. I asked her to teach me how to make them when I visit VT in May. If I still feel up to it, I'll post pictures and instructions as a public service.

Marriage - One big misunderstanding?

My co-worker, GH (who has a great blog) posted recently about the differing opinions on the point of marriage and it had me in a fit of giggles and tears. He writes, "... what if nobody ever has the same thoughts on marriage? I mean, maybe that's why so many marriages now end in divorce. Is it simply all one big misunderstanding?"

Can you imagine this conversation between Eliot Spitzer and his wife?

Eliot: Hey Silda, there's been a terrible misunderstanding...
Silda: Whew! What a relief Eliot. I knew that you using a prostitute had to be one big misunderstanding. Maybe a set up with political motivations.
Eliot: Er...umm...I meant that affairs should be illegal and hookers legal.

Ha!