Wednesday, March 5, 2008

I've been forced to think about your tushy and mine

Cottonelle, the toilet paper from Kleenex has overtaken the North entrance of Grand Central station with their ads. In my opinion, they are pretty immature, risque and just wrong. First off, they are using this inane tagline: Be kind to your behind. Secondly, all of the ads make reference to your butt in relation to their toilet paper. Like "We shine where the sun don't."
I think toilet paper for is pretty effective for wiping pee for women. I know that men generally don't use toilet paper when they pee, but maybe they should.
Now, for #2. I'm of the belief that the best way to clean your bottom is to wash it. Toilet paper is a good alternative when you don't have convenient access to wash your heiny. And it is nice when it's soft. But when do you need soft toilet paper? Not for wiping (you really should be dabbing) urine and not when you're at home.
Theoretically, Cottonelle is hoping that you'll convert from whatever you're using and buy their toilet paper to use in your home. But when you're home, you can easily wash your tuchis. That means you can load your home with cheap toilet paper. You might have a few rolls of the good stuff for your guests or when you're in a rush. My conclusion? I think Cottonelle just wasted millions targetting the wrong audience. Why don't they influence the decision makers at Port Authority, office buildings and other public spaces? Well I guess maybe the target audience isn't as smart or anal as me -- my dear blog readers stop spending money on the soft stuff -- totally unnecessary! I do remember that toilet paper at the Hawaiian airports (I went through 3 of them) were two ply and really soft. Now that's SMART!

Monday, March 3, 2008

An investment idea

After my rush from shopping at Costco has subsided and I'm nearly $350 poorer...I'm still amazed not only by the rising costs of food but also by how some goods are so cheap in comparison. First some prices of foodstuffs, bread for $5, blueberries for $9, green tea for $12.50, soymilk for $9, natural juice blend for $8 etc. Yes, these were all gigantic sizes but still I racked up a sizeable $200 or thereabouts, just in food. On this same trip, I also got a terrific down alternative queen size comforter for my mother for $50 and king sized down alternative pillows for me at only $5 each. They are so plump and fluffy, I feel quite pleased with this particular purchase. I'm leaning on them now as I type this blog entry. Is it just me or is that really cheap in comparison with the foodstuffs? I can enjoy these pillows until I die but the bread will only be good for 4 days. What gives?!
The investment idea is to invest in Chilean farms or fruit producers. I've noticed that a lot of produce come from Chile, like blueberries, nectarines or onions. And the prices of this stuff is no longer cheap. Don't you feel like not so long ago onions were like 9 cents a lb and all of a sudden, they're $1.50-$2.00? It's at a point where if I'm disappointed by a fruit I buy, it takes a lot of aloha spirit to not bring it back for a refund.

They need some analytical guys over at Overstock

So I'm generally really bad at math, anyone who's finished middle school can do better arithmetic than me. But last night, even I was able to comprehend what I'm going to call mathematical magic. Here goes Retail Math 101.
I bought some rugs at Overstock because they were having a 5% site-wide discount on all home decor items. I also had a 10% coupon that came in the mail. Naturally, I thought the discounts would combine in a way that would work out to be least in my favor, that I'd have to pay something like this: .9x + (.05*.9x). But I actually got this discount: .9x - (100-.95x). So excited! I don't know if I set up these equations right and they are probably more complicated than they need to be, but basically instead of taking off the 10 percent first and then taking off 5% off of the remaining, (.9*.95 for a total of 14.5%), I got a full whopping 15% off! I know I only netted half a percent more but it's still exciting that the heydey of applying multiple coupons are back!