Saturday, June 6, 2009

Daisy Monroe

S Money

Ears and eyes behind my head even while sleeping

Why aren't you wearing your pants, I ask my daughter even though I know the answer.
Because Daisy wet them she said.
I knew she was lying.
S, I know you wet your pants, didn't you, I confronted her.
Mom, you heard that?! she said shocked but also with a smile.
Even though I was taking a nap, I was someone awake for the part when she wet herself.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Quintessential Josh

"Why don't you have an umbrella!" I chastise my husband as we stand under a canopy in front of a store.
"My jacket's waterproof," he shrugs nonchalantly and starts pulling on his hood.
I am fretting like crazy because the rain is coming down moderately hard and I know how I hate for my feet to get soaked. I always feel so poor and pitiful when I'm caught in the rain without an umbrella.
"Come back with me to the office," I beg. "I have another umbrella and you can take this one."
He's pretty stubborn and refuses.
I rack my brain for strategies and then what I come up with is just pure genius.
"Look," I said. "My umbrella is pretty shitty." I point to the space where there should be a handle but it's missing.
All of a sudden he's like a kid in a candy store. He gets really giddy and agrees that my umbrella is shitty. Ultimately he agrees to take my shitty umbrella.