Friday, November 30, 2007

Are we hot or not?

I'm generally happy and satisfied about our wedding in Thailand. With the exception of the typical hassles, dramas and disappointments of a destination wedding, I was pleased with how it was organized, how it turned out blah blah blah.
But I hate my wedding album. My mom picked out the pictures for us and it turns out, she either discerns expressions very poorly or our tastes for pictures are polarized. Josh and I like pictures where we look genuinely happy together. I thought that this is something most people could agree based on prior experience that Josh and I had agreed on what makes a picture look good. Most of the photos that my mom picked for our album had expressions that were so affected or we appear pinched - so we're either gritting our teeth to smile or we look constipated. She claims we look demure. I looked at her wedding album and not one smile from her or my dad. She says that back then if you smiled for photographs, then you were a punk or a slut. Not one smile in her entire wedding album and practically not even one real smile in mine.

She also picked out the photograph for our thank you cards. I really like the sepia tone and antique look to the finish, but I don't like the picture. I look like a cheesy adoring mail order bride, with that weird insecure gaze fixed on my megalomaniac camera-loving but also tired white knight. See for yourself. Do you agree that I look like a total FOB? Why oh why couldn't she have picked a picture where we are both looking at each other or the camera?


Got back on that horse

So excited! Yesterday I finally got the motivation to start exercising again. It's hard when I take any kind of a break, in this case it was only 10 days but my slobby self got used to not exercising even though I felt terrible.
I revisited our marriage vows, one of them was that we are going to challenge each other physically. I think both of us need to be more conscious in fulfilling this promise to each other.
What's great about being in shape is how helpful it is in certain situations. Like when you're running to catch a train or a bus, you become so pleasantly surprised by your abilities. This morning, I ran to catch a train just for the hell of it and it felt GREAT. Because I got the exercise that I needed, I'm a much better and nicer person...but at what expense?
My dilemma is that Ari is generally right and so is my husband. And I generally believe everything I hear especially if it comes from a man. My husband and Ari generally agree on a wide variety of issues. But their expert viewponts diverge on exercise. What's a confused, gullible, easily-impressionable man-follower to do?
Is Ari right that exercising is like a form of socially acceptable cocaine? Am I just getting a feel good high at the expense of my knees in my old age? Have I been brainwashed in thinking that exercise is good for you? Are we dealing with an information cascade?
Or is Josh right that regular vigorous exercise is good for you in the short term and the long term?
My health and marriage vows are at stake here. I need advice!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Unbridled lust

(begin whine-y voice) It's not fair! (end whine-y voice)
My husband never wants anything and I'm always lusting after various goodies. He grew up in a household that recycled sesame seeds from bagels to be re-used in sesame chicken stir-fry (disclaimer: his parents deny this), while I grew up in a household that allowed each kid to have their own shopping cart and we put in any junk-y grocery item that fancied us.
My mother worked all the time and probably felt guilty so we could have almost anything we wanted. Back then, our whims were pretty inexpensive, not like the desires of kids nowadays. Ironically, even though our whims were satisfied, we grew up pretty poor during my early childhood. We lived in a one bedroom apartment in Queens but I never felt like we lacked anything. We were the total ghetto-fabulous stereotype -- we lived in a small cramped apartment but some of us wore expensive sneakers. Once a month, when my mother had a day off, she would take us to the Botanical Garden or some such activity and we were allowed to run amok satisfying any of our street vendor whims and to top it off, she would let us get anything we wanted at McDonald's. I must be the only person on earth who misses the old chicken Mcnuggets. I have fond memories of the dark chicken matter mash.
The way Josh grew up was completely different. As a result, he is so disciplined with money to the point where he doesn't event want anything. Help! I need an outlet. So I'm going to make a Christmas list (since we don't celebrate Christmas and I'm sure that I probably won't get anything from this list).
I WANT:

  1. A knitting machine (with some really nice and exotic yarns)
  2. Two really nice hairbrushes that costs like $50 each - a small one and a large one
  3. A digital SLR camera with killer zoom lens that will be bigger than John Holmes'
  4. A dual layer DVD burner or some other solution for archiving my kids' pictures
  5. Software: font utility tool, various fonts and video editing
  6. More diamonds mua hahahahahaha
  7. A Sadie and Dazee collage similar to the one I have one of our wedding that is 4' by 3'.
  8. Quarterly services of a professional photographer
  9. Annual family portrait in oil
It's amazing I can get along so well with someone so monetarily disciplined. I got the cheapest one I could find and I'm pretty happy with him.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

I'm pathetic

It's been a week and a half since I last vigorously exercised. I'm often grumpy, sleepy, tired, out of sorts and my knee hurts. I'm going to have to find motivation to start up again. I'm just a bad mom, daughter, and person when I don't get good exercise.

Facebook - You're a hypocrite and I'm a liar

Earlier, I ranted about how I could not use my real last name to sign up for a Facebook account. I surmised that "Star" is completely forbidden, as I could not add it as a middle, last, first or maiden name without some kind of appeal to Facebook. I shied away from appealing because I don't like bureaucracy and the wording of the appeal process seems so serious. To my foreign born sensitivities, this is a scary thing. I felt like I might need to appear in court or get notarized documents or be involved in something legally binding that I was going to ultimately regret. Like the authorities will take me away from my children or something because my proof to Facebook was considered counterfeit or whatever.
Luckily, someone else did the leg work so I can enlighten you about the appeal process. My sister in law shares the same last name as me and is apparently less paranoid than me because she went ahead with the appeal process (must've found it simple and non-threatening) and won! Hurray! A few days later, she's on Facebook as her real name.
But now that I've been using Facebook for a few weeks, I am really creeped out. I am relieved that I've used my maiden name. Only people who truly know me would be able to find me. And just for an extra layer of security, I made my profile private to just Facebook friends(but I like to refer to them as "friendsters" because I'm not really friends with them.).
But these privacy protecting measures are not good enough for me anymore, because Facebook is keeping tabs on a lot of online activity and sharing it willy nilly. I'm upset that on one hand, they treat privacy very casually by sharing your information while on the other they insist on this real name business (with a built-in appeal process and scary terms of use agreements no less!). If they are going to be privy to who I actually am and where I live, then they need to revise their privacy policies to treat my identity and actions as professionally and delicately as an online bank would.
Recently I scored a huge coup. I got the courage to appeal to Facebook for a name change to Cassandra Jupiter. In an unexpected whilrlwind, it was approved and my new name was activated in less than 24 hours, even though their noncomittal and slightly threatening (vis a vis bureaucracy) fine print lead me to believe otherwise.
I don't know if this is going to hurt me and my social networking goals in the long run but for now, I'm quite pleased that I was able to change my name and pull some wool over the Facebook nazis.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

This is a first for me - I'm as pure as newly fallen snow

My sister in law apparently has an insatiable appetite for raunchiness. I look to you, dear readers to come up with suggestions for some racy blogs or websites that she can visit (for free) because I can not satisfy her. Luckily, she still "respects me as a person" even though she doesn't think I have "any raunchy" in me.

Monday, November 26, 2007

This one's for you, BS...

After some thought and soul searching, if my ANR post was not "dirty", "raunchy", "disgusting" or "exciting" enough, I have to say that I give up. I'm afraid what you're asking for would definitely be crossing a lot of different lines and we're both going to regret it.
I do have another ANR type story that you might like...
I pump milk at work and I use a "hands-free pumping bra" so that I don't have to maintain a grasp or pressure on plastic milk bottles and breast shields against my chest. In any case, if you're not familiar with pumping or what it looks like (it's totally wacky) -- below are two pictures of a model using the hands free pumping bra. Of course, the pictures aren't totally realistic. In the real world, you're not smiling when you're pumping, there's milk in the bottles, your nipples are not airbrushed, and so on and so forth.
In any case, someone at work had walked in on me doing this. It is one of the most humiliating experiences in my life. I know my vagina was on a display shelf in the hospital when I was giving birth and it seemed like everyone had a go with their fingers and hands (hopefully these were not gratuitous feels). Even though I reluctantly and publicly went to third base (skipping first and second to boot) with all these medical professionals, somehow there's nothing more humiliating than having co-workers see you half dressed and attached to pumping paraphernalia. The ridiculousness of the contraptions makes even a shameless person like me shrink like a wet witch.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

The people want juicy!

So my sister in law is totally goading me (not that I need much encouragement) by telling me that my blog isn't nearly as dirty or raunchy as she hoped or expected. I have a few ideas percolating; I'm determined to fulfill her wildest blog dreams...When you have a relative like Josh, you probably can't help but want to hear something embarassing, exciting or nasty. He can be so good and pure, like his mouth full of filling-free teeth, it makes all of us want to gasp in envious scornful disgust with our rotten multi-root-canal-ed teeth.