Wednesday, March 5, 2008

I've been forced to think about your tushy and mine

Cottonelle, the toilet paper from Kleenex has overtaken the North entrance of Grand Central station with their ads. In my opinion, they are pretty immature, risque and just wrong. First off, they are using this inane tagline: Be kind to your behind. Secondly, all of the ads make reference to your butt in relation to their toilet paper. Like "We shine where the sun don't."
I think toilet paper for is pretty effective for wiping pee for women. I know that men generally don't use toilet paper when they pee, but maybe they should.
Now, for #2. I'm of the belief that the best way to clean your bottom is to wash it. Toilet paper is a good alternative when you don't have convenient access to wash your heiny. And it is nice when it's soft. But when do you need soft toilet paper? Not for wiping (you really should be dabbing) urine and not when you're at home.
Theoretically, Cottonelle is hoping that you'll convert from whatever you're using and buy their toilet paper to use in your home. But when you're home, you can easily wash your tuchis. That means you can load your home with cheap toilet paper. You might have a few rolls of the good stuff for your guests or when you're in a rush. My conclusion? I think Cottonelle just wasted millions targetting the wrong audience. Why don't they influence the decision makers at Port Authority, office buildings and other public spaces? Well I guess maybe the target audience isn't as smart or anal as me -- my dear blog readers stop spending money on the soft stuff -- totally unnecessary! I do remember that toilet paper at the Hawaiian airports (I went through 3 of them) were two ply and really soft. Now that's SMART!

7 comments:

frank said...

Whoa! I like Cottonelle but maybe it's kind of vulgar to pitch this in Grand Central. I guess it's just part of the generally lower level of public discourse which also features several ads for erectile dysfunction on the evening news. Embarrassing to say the least. I remember once when I complained about the lack of two-ply paper in your house your skin flint husband said that single-ply was more ecological and kept the toilets free from clogging...

Violetta said...

i like Hannaford brand tp.

Anonymous said...

Trying to get to the bottom of this. Are you saying you prefer Cottonelle but they shouldn't waste their advertising on the consumer, rather the business sector? And how do you wash your tush? Very few have a bidet...

JS said...

OK, so what you're saying is TP isn't the ideal solution - fine. But given that most people DO use TP, the advertising campaign is arguing that this is the softest (and therefor best) kind to use. You're lucky they didn't choose to advertise its toughness, which I think is important in a TP: Has it ever happened to you that you were beginning a wipe (with real cheap TP) and just as you slide across your bung hole, the TP breaks, and you're left with nothing but your exposed hand? That really stinks when that happens - and it's more likely to happen with real crappy TP. OK? So you're lucky at least they don't advertise about it's tensile strength, which could give rise to some quite unsavory thoughts (like this comment - sorry!)

frank said...

LOL! There are two factors here: softness and strength. I can't tell if in the original blog this "Cassandra" is offended by the ad being hugely plastered in Grand Central or that Cottonelle has targeted the wrong people. You can always look at the ceiling in Grand Central and observe the stars. There's no advertising up there yet...

Lost in Dixie said...

I think cottonelle is stupid for several reasons:

1) it plugs up toilets and septic systems

2) it smells unnatural

3) I agree with Jupiter's theory on washing....

I personally want a bidet installed into the next place I live. The French were really right on about this for several reasons I don't want to go into.

RC said...

I'm confused, when you don't use 2 ply, don't you just use more? I find that I use more than twice as much paper at work than at home because the paper at work is just thinner. Have you ever tried their flushable moist wipes? http://www.cottonelle.com/product_wipes.aspx I think they're great. Sorry that the ad offended you, but I think the product is much better than Charmin or Quilted Northern (but only the plain Cottonelle, not the thicker one or the one with all the added ingredients). If you want to talk about unpleasant TP, try living in Europe.