SG, another male Bear Stearns employee speaks to me. This time the interview is on-site!
Me: How long have you been working here?
SG: 1.5 years.
Me: What do you do for Bear Stearns?
SG: I'm a prop trader.
Me: Are people really working right now?
SG: Yes. The motivation is less to work really hard, but after the compensation announcement last night I'm feeling better.
Me: What are you doing?
SG: I'm a prop trader so I can continue to work on my skills and try to do different things [with the market], regardless of where I work.
Me: Who isn't working then?
SG: The sales guys. Their asset is the phone book so they don't need to be looking at the market like me. They won't do their work until they know where they'll land.
Me: Is it true that once your stock is vested, you don't have access to sell it?
SG: That's what I heard and it's not the case where I used to work. I think it's not the case anywhere.
Me: It's messed up.
SG: Well it does vest in the normal schedule you just can't sell it.
Me: Same difference to me. If you can't sell it then you don't have it. Look what happened to the BS stock. Probably lots of people who had vested shares that couldn't sell that are totally screwed right now.
Me: What brought Bear Stearns down?
SG: It's a classic run on the bank.
Me: But why Bear?
SG: Well only broker-dealers can be targeted since the commercial banks [like JPM] have access to the discount window. Easier to pick on Bear than the other broker dealers. Goldman is sitting on a mound of cash, Lehman had a credit line and collateral. All Bear had was $17bn of collateral. And now we know Bear had $30bn in sub-prime assets.
Me: Change in subject. Do you agree with JS, another Bear employee that it's better to use a hooker than to have an affair?
SG: Absolutely. Less messier.
Me: Spitzer used the same girl on a number of occasions. What do you think of that?
SG: You can't use the same girl, I'd use a different one every time.
Me: JS says the relationship is clear so you can use the same girl if you want.
SG: The relationship is clear to the girl but not to you.
Me: I agree, you can't have the same poon tang over and over. Maybe something is drawing you to the same girl.
SG: What's poon tang?!
At this point, another employee next to me starts chortling and turns pink, the color of his shirt.
Me: What do you think about our new governor, Paterson, he's blind and had an affair.
SG: I was talking to my wife about this...she was in disbelief about how a blind guy can get involved in an affair. It's power. But [because of his blindness], who knows the quality of the affair. Also he's legally blind, which means he can still see.
Me: Would you pay $4300 an hour for a hooker? That's the rumored price of Spitzer's.
SG: No, not for a no-name, not worth it. Definitely for Julia Roberts. Then you can call up all your friends and brag that you bagged Julia Roberts.
Me: You can also be unscrupulous and videotape your encounter and try to hawk it.
The other male BS employee next to me chimes in, "Yeah I'd only pay that much if I could use it as blackmail."
Categories:
Bear Stearns Employees Interviews
Background: JS, 35 year old male Bear Stearns employee trading equity derivatives speaks to me.
Me: It's Wednesday a few days after it was announced that BS will be sold to JPM for $2 a share. What are you doing at work?
JS: It's a funny situation because I'm in trading. For example, right after giving notice of quitting, a trader wouldn't be allowed to trade. I feel like there's no benefit to making money and no repercussions for screwing up. I used to trade with a conscience as if it were my own money and felt I had a stake in it but now it feels like trading someone else's money. It's a weird feeling. I still do the right thing but I could imagine cases of abuse.
Me: Are you actually working? I'd probably be gossiping with my co-workers if I were in your situation.
JS: Yes, I am [working]. But there's a lot of web surfing.
Me: Does Bear Stearns block porn?
JS: Yes, but you can still get some pretty good soft stuff.
Me: Tell me the latest internal news.
JS: We're waiting to hear tomorrow on a short term retention package for the next 3 months.
Me: Have people been laid off yet?
JS: No.
Me: Have there been a lot of quittings?
JS: More than I've seen before.
Me: I'm going to change the topic. What do you think about Eliot Spitzer and the whole prostution thing?
JS: I can't believe how expensive it was and that there has to be a cheaper way.
Me: I meant do you think it's right or wrong? Should he have lost his job over it?
JS: He has to lose his job because it's not good behavior for a public official. I don't personally hold anything against him besides losing respect because he got caught.
Me: How is common is using prostitutes?
JS: I just don't know.
Me: Do you know anyone who's used one?
JS: Not to my knowledge.
Me: What do you think about the new governor, Paterson? He came out in the news about having extra-marital affairs.
JS: I think hookers are better than affairs especially when you have a family.
Me: I'm going to kill you either way if you do, but what is your logic?
JS: A hooker presumably doesn't have emotional attachment, but in an affair it comes to question if you love that person or not. Where do your loyalties lie might be in question. An affair can pull apart a marriage. Hookers can pull apart a marriage too but only if the wife gets mad.
Me: Why wouldn't the wife get mad over a hooker?!
JS: (long pause) I can't think of a reason why she wouldn't get mad. But in the affair she'd probably get more mad. With hookers you generally don't leave your wife for one but you might with an affair.
Me: Let me set the record straight and just say that they're both bad. I don't think it's a good idea to have a moral hierarchy to condone one behavior over the other.
Back to BS: Are people really working?
JS: Yes, but people are unabashed about working on their resumes, talking to headhunters or going on interviews.
Me: What are you doing?
JS: I have to maintain my trading positions. I still address customer orders.
Me: Are you getting the same amount of business as if this whole thing didn't happen?
JS: It's a lot less.
Me: Is it true that there are psychologists on site to counsel employees?
JS: There always are. There's also a hotline for people to call. They're sending out more reminders of these existing services.
Me: How do they word these reminders?
JS: I don't know, I mostly ignore them.
Me: Don't you want to use one for free?
JS: No, do you think they know more than me and you?
Me: Do you feel like employees are engaging in some kind of camraderie or kumbaya based on going through this tragedy together?
JS: No. It's more of a competitive situation. It's not like a sinking ship that we're all going down together. There are different options based on who you know, what your skills are, etc. So people are in different situations, which takes the camraderie out. It's far from hopeless.
Me: The rumor is that 5000 people or so who will lose their jobs, how will the economy absorb them? Will they find jobs?
JS: I think so. There are other options like the hedge fund industry. A lot of people will go to the buy side. People can move geographically too.
Me: Are going to miss your sweet Grand Central commute?
JS: Yes especially when it's raining.
Me: Anything interesting or juicy going on?
JS: I heard a story, I don't if it's true that Alan Schwartz got beat up in the gym. And that Jimmy Cayne has a full time body guard now.
Me: I found a 47 page merger agreement published on the Bear Stearns website. What do you think of it?
JS: I didn't know about it until you mentioned it and it was an interesting read. Employees probably don't know it's there.
Me: I'm surprised it wasn't circulated as an internal memo. Have there been any internal memos? What are they about?
JS: It's pretty lame.
Me: Are you not at liberty to discuss them?
JS: They're so unmemorable.
Me: And you have a steel trap memory...
JS: There's no integrity with management so I don't even want to read.
Categories:
Bear Stearns Employees Interviews
How does one sue the government or can you even sue the govt? I'm wondering about this question because obviously a lot of BS employees and stakeholders are pissed at the Fed.
And when you sue the govt what can you get? Govt officials can stand to lose only their jobs, I can't think of anything else. The plaintiffs don't stand to gain anything. I'm trying to think of situations where the US government has committed wrongs (maybe even sins!) and what the repercussions were. In the case of annexing Hawaii illegally -- nothing but a statement of apology. In the case of slavery, the myth of 42 acres and a mule.
I guess in times of trouble, like during the Great Depression, the government tends to take a very active role. A sure sign we're headed towards something of that nature given the events over the past few days...I guess we let everything run merrily along under laissez faire which created the crisis in housing/sub-prime/lending. Now the Feds have to step in. Adam Smith is rolling in his grave.
Finally, the first meaty story on Bear Stearns! I can really sink my teeth into this one.
A couple of reactions:
1. Seems like the Fed took control of a supposed free capital markets, much to the detriment of Bear Stearns. They forced the sale of BS over the weekend.
2. JPM covets 383 Madison (the building)
3. Everybody loves Chinese food (this is what JPM ordered while conducting due diligence).
4. The Fed's decision to open the discount window for investment banks is a few days too late for Bear. :(
Here's a semi-interview/personal account from BS employees' perspectives.
Full disclosure: I got scored this interview by sleeping with the interviewee. Is this unethical?
Background: JS, 35 year old male Bear Stearns employee trading equity derivatives speaks to me.
Me: How long have you been working at BS?
JS: 8 months.
Me: How do you feel about the current situation?
JS: I feel that management let me down and the Fed also.
Me: How so?
JS: I think it was important for the Fed to open the discount window to investment banks, all at the same time. If they'd done that a week ago, it might have prevented Bear Stearns from collapsing. [As for management], I think it took management too long to recognize they had a problem.
Me: Can you elaborate?
JS: Even I noticed the problems. I noticed our funding costs going up. I noticed some unusual trading activity on the 30 and 35 strike puts when the stock was trading at $80.
Me: So why didn't you buy some of those puts so we'd have a lot of money for our retirement and our kids' college education funds if you suspected something going down?
JS: As employees, we're not allowed to buy or sell the stock.
Me: What do you think about the JPM deal?
JS: It seems like they arrived at a very discounted number and even some of what JPM said suggested that they think they bought it for cents on the dollar. I believe they expect to harvest much of that value.
Me: Is the culture of firm ownership true?
JS: I don't know if it's forced upon people with a 5 year vesting period or whether it's a natural respect for the company, but there is a very high percentage of employee ownership. There is some element of belief that to own the stock is to be loyal to the company. But I also heard that your shares don't vest for 5 years, if that's true, I am extremely unimpressed with the Bear Stearns stock plan. (Average is 1-3 years vesting period)
Me: What was it like going in to work Monday? What did you expect?
JS: It was actually business as usual day.
Me: C'mon...really...It didn't feel as pivotal or emotional as going in to work like after 9/11? Your company went bankrupt overnight...
JS: No.
Me: How much employee wealth do you think is wiped out?
JS: I calculated $250K per employee, but the billion dollar loss from one guy is throwing this statistic off.
Me: Do you feel bad for any of your co-workers?
JS: Yeah. Especially the ones with a lot of stock.
Categories:
Bear Stearns Employees Interviews
I've been especially dissatisfied with the reporting of the Bear Stearns situation in the press:
1. I'm tired of BS referred to as a "venerable" or "storied" firm of Wall Street. Before any of this happened, BS was considered a second or third tier bank.
2. I'm sick of JPM portrayed as the rescuer or giving BS a "bailout", "harking" to a 100 year or whatever history of saving troubled firms. It's obvious to me that whatever actions taken by JPM are self-serving.
3. Nobody seems to know the terms of the deal except the $2 a share business that is often linked to annoying information like, "and only a few days ago the stock was trading at $65" or "in January 2007, a high of $171 a share". They also like to talk about how the building alone is worth over $1 billion so it seems like a "fire" sale. Maybe or maybe not? $2 a share is superficial information and it's being overblown in the stories -- great material for a comic but not enough for a meaty story. We still don't know how big were Bear's liabilities, what are the breakup fees, if any, are there executive golden parachutes, what will happen to the employees, how did JPM conduct due diligence, how/when did the Fed get involved, etc. etc.
What I really want to know are the full terms of the deal, how the parties arrived at them and the personal stories of Bear Stearns employees. All of this is lacking in the press. Believe me, I've tried -- I've read every possible article on the "fall" of the "venerable" "85 year old" Bear. They're all the same repetitive crap that reads like the Sweet Valley High series.
What is the point of journalism or reporting? Is it supposed to tell the truth (and how is that possible?) or inform (and what's the point of that?) Most of what I read in the papers today seem tabloid-style, sensationalistic headline grabbing, superficial crap. The headlines on Cnn.com are especially abominable, as I'm sure they're written by drunken fraternity brothers on unpaid internships. I've totally boycotted this website. Now blogging, everyone knows upfront that it's personal and biased so I don't hold bloggers to the same standards of writing with those of WSJ, CNN, NY Times ilk, blah blah blah. Is blogging a kind of journalism?
Here are links to top stories copied from Bloomberg's website.
It's going to be Black Monday tomorrow.
· Fed Cuts Discount Rate, Opens Lending to Primary Dealers in Emergency Move
· U.S. Futures, Asian Stocks, Dollar Tumble on Fed Cut, Sale of Bear Stearns
· JPMorgan Buys Bear Stearns for $240 Million, Tenth of Its Value Last Week
· Dollar Declines Below 96 Yen for First Time in 12 Years on Subprime Losses
· Australia, Japan Company Bond Risk Surges After Bear Stearns Sale, Fed Cut
· Housing Starts in U.S. Probably Slid to 17-Year Low, Factory Output Fell
· Macquarie, Mitsubishi UFJ Slump as Credit Concerns Mount on Bear Stearns
· Ahmadinejad's Nuclear Mandate Strengthened After Iranian Election Victory
· New York Rescuers Search for Missing After Crane Killed Four in Manhattan
So, you might know that I've been complaining for like 'ever about my husband being reluctant to get us a better or SLR style camera. But now that his company is going bankrupt, it's a good time to find creative solutions to avoid spending any money. So what I did today was take a bunch of pictures using different modes and then played around with some image filters. I think some of the results is pretty neat, but my mother's opinion is that the original always looked better. Josh liked some of them but I'm not sure if it's motivated by encouraging me so I can feel good about not spending any money. I look to you for an honest opinion. So without further ado, all the doctored pictures are posted below. I'm too lazy to give you both the pre-and post production pics for a side by side comparison, but hopefully some of these stand on there own. (I was pretty enamored by the focal B&W effect so you'll see a lot of that here.) So what do you think? Should I quit my day job and take pictures of my kids and pimp them? (For a larger version, click on any of the pics)
I found this link:
http://www.pbase.com/jtodhunter/indian_toilet
And it's pretty much the same situation in Thailand -- go through the pictures/tutorial on how to use squat toilets, what to do with the hose or if the hose isn't working, how to use the mug.
Two days ago when news of Eliot Spitzer using a call girl broke out and he gave a brief talk with his wife Silda by his side, Josh asked me if I would stand by him like so many other faithful political wives have done. Of course my natural reaction to this question is suspicion-cum-fear-cum-anger - WHAT DID YOU DO?!! I asked.
Any we worked out that if he were to have a public job and messed up in some way, personal or professional, I promised to stand next to him as he apologized to the public.
We're going to Alaska in June, and I put together a pretty full itinerary, but one I think we can handle:
Day 1: arrive 8pm, pick up some quick food and drive 1/2hour to B&B in anchorage.
Day 2: drive south ~2.5 hours towards Seward. Hike Exit Glacier (2-8miles rt). Dinner & sleep in Seward.
Day3: Cruise Kenai Fjords glacier bay. Return around 5pm. Drive 1.5 hours north to Alyeska resort in Girdwood
Day 4: spend the morning in Girdwood. drive 4 hours north to Talkeetna. Take airplane tour around Denali - land on a glacier.
Day5: drive another 1.5 hours to Denali for a 12pm water rafting ride through the park. Stay near the park.
Day 6: Take a 5:30 AM bus ride deep into the park, and then out. We can get out and walk/hike wherever we want. It'll be a long long day.
Day 7: Casual, with eventually making our way back to Anchorage (5 hours) for an 8pm flight home.
Sounds like a lot of driving, and it is, but the challenge was to see Denali, and get down to see the glaciers in the same short trip ... so that's it. It should be light 24 hours a day, so we won't be constrained by the day's hours ... just by our own energy.
I can't stop talking about Cottonelle taking over Grand Central. I even saw someone (maybe he works at Kimberly Clark?) take photographs of the ads with an expensive, professional looking camera. That's never happened with any other ad. I also notice some people chuckling or smiling as they read the ads -- New Yorkers aren't rude, they're just using the wrong toilet paper. Yesterday as I met my husband at GC during our commute home, I grinned at him and said a toast, Bottoms up! He didn't know what or why, so I pointed to the Cottonelle ad, with a hand clutching a roll of toilet paper hoisted in the air, like someone making a toast with a wine glass with the words, "Bottoms up!"
Hahahahah!
Part Trois!
A quote of RC's intriguing comments:
"I'm confused, when you don't use 2 ply, don't you just use more? I find that I use more than twice as much paper at work than at home because the paper at work is just thinner. Have you ever tried their flushable moist wipes? http://www.cottonelle.com/product_wipes.aspx
I think they're great. Sorry that the ad offended you, but I think the product is much better than Charmin or Quilted Northern (but only the plain Cottonelle, not the thicker one or the one with all the added ingredients). If you want to talk about unpleasant TP, try living in Europe."
Yes, it's true, 1 ply would cause one to use more, or put you in the compromising and unsavory position of hand meeting BH, as eloquently stated by JS. Digression point: I grew up with soft 2 ply with cloud prints - maybe it was White Cloud brand? Similar in pricing with Charmin, Cottonelle, etc. I used to love using that TP, it as so pretty and I liked thinking how I was wiping my tushy with clouds. One day my mom discovered how over generous I was with the TP and I was given the rule, only 2 sheets at a time and wipe three times. It wasn't until I met Josh that he expounded that the rule for wiping was more subtle than 3x's the charm, look at the TP after each wipe and then act accordingly.
I went to the link for the moist wipes and here's how it's advertised:
"There's nothing like that "just showered" feeling – for all-over freshness, including our bottoms! Cottonelle® brand – one kind thing you can do for your behind – pledges a shower-fresh feeling that leaves you confidently clean."
I think this gives me support that you're supposed to wash after making a turd and the shower is a good place for that. I'm a little disturbed by the phrase "confidently clean".
RC - I had no idea that Cottonelle is superior to Northern or Charmin, I really want to know and hear more why that's the brand of choice. This dog isn't too old for new tricks - I would totally switch if I knew better or different.
Adding to the insult of poor quality TP in Europe, you often have to pay for it even in public restrooms!
So there's been a pretty long-running battle between Josh and my mother. She believes that Sadie and Dazee get sick from being in the cold and she has a lot of anecdotal data to support this hypothesis. Most of this falls on deaf ears with my husband and I'm sorta in the middle. My mother's a little more invested in this battle given that she has to deal with sick kids. But Josh and I would like to kids to go out more and spend time in the outdoors. Recently I read something in a magazine about viruses surviving in the winter season but not during the summer -- so I drew the conclusion that maybe my mother is right. Even though people love to say: You can't get sick from the cold/ not wearing hats/mittens as they are transmitted through viruses. Even my Harvard-educated husband enjoyed repeating this axiom, but he failed to acknowledge the subtlety of cold viruses merrily multiplying in the winter but lying dead and dormant in the heat of the summer. I've been trying to convince Josh that my mother has a point by mentioning what I read (albeit published in a "silly" women's magazine), telling him that they call it a cold for a reason, that tropical countries don't seem to have colds/flus and that every time I go somewhere warm for the winter, I'm cured of various ailments. All of this falls on deaf ears which is a little upsetting to me that he would accept time-worn axioms over personal experiences of his wife and mother-in-law. But recently, I got more ammunition to support me and my mother, thanks to Beth's blog and this article that she pointed us all to. They actually proved that flu viruses survive and multiply in cold weather, (interesting to note that the ideal temperature for the nasty creatures is 41 degrees) and that they all died when it reached 86 degrees. Thanks Beth and take that Josh!
So it really stinks that kids shouldn't go out and play too much in the bad weather because they're going to be more likely to get sick. More reasons to move to Hawaii!
It seems like my previous post on Cottonelle has garnered some really interesting and charged responses as well as confusion, so a Part Deux is required.
I hope this clears up all the questions, but I'm happy to take on any more.
Cottonelle, the toilet paper from Kleenex has overtaken the North entrance of Grand Central station with their ads. In my opinion, they are pretty immature, risque and just wrong. First off, they are using this inane tagline: Be kind to your behind. Secondly, all of the ads make reference to your butt in relation to their toilet paper. Like "We shine where the sun don't."
I think toilet paper for is pretty effective for wiping pee for women. I know that men generally don't use toilet paper when they pee, but maybe they should.
Now, for #2. I'm of the belief that the best way to clean your bottom is to wash it. Toilet paper is a good alternative when you don't have convenient access to wash your heiny. And it is nice when it's soft. But when do you need soft toilet paper? Not for wiping (you really should be dabbing) urine and not when you're at home.
Theoretically, Cottonelle is hoping that you'll convert from whatever you're using and buy their toilet paper to use in your home. But when you're home, you can easily wash your tuchis. That means you can load your home with cheap toilet paper. You might have a few rolls of the good stuff for your guests or when you're in a rush. My conclusion? I think Cottonelle just wasted millions targetting the wrong audience. Why don't they influence the decision makers at Port Authority, office buildings and other public spaces? Well I guess maybe the target audience isn't as smart or anal as me -- my dear blog readers stop spending money on the soft stuff -- totally unnecessary! I do remember that toilet paper at the Hawaiian airports (I went through 3 of them) were two ply and really soft. Now that's SMART!
After my rush from shopping at Costco has subsided and I'm nearly $350 poorer...I'm still amazed not only by the rising costs of food but also by how some goods are so cheap in comparison. First some prices of foodstuffs, bread for $5, blueberries for $9, green tea for $12.50, soymilk for $9, natural juice blend for $8 etc. Yes, these were all gigantic sizes but still I racked up a sizeable $200 or thereabouts, just in food. On this same trip, I also got a terrific down alternative queen size comforter for my mother for $50 and king sized down alternative pillows for me at only $5 each. They are so plump and fluffy, I feel quite pleased with this particular purchase. I'm leaning on them now as I type this blog entry. Is it just me or is that really cheap in comparison with the foodstuffs? I can enjoy these pillows until I die but the bread will only be good for 4 days. What gives?!
The investment idea is to invest in Chilean farms or fruit producers. I've noticed that a lot of produce come from Chile, like blueberries, nectarines or onions. And the prices of this stuff is no longer cheap. Don't you feel like not so long ago onions were like 9 cents a lb and all of a sudden, they're $1.50-$2.00? It's at a point where if I'm disappointed by a fruit I buy, it takes a lot of aloha spirit to not bring it back for a refund.
So I'm generally really bad at math, anyone who's finished middle school can do better arithmetic than me. But last night, even I was able to comprehend what I'm going to call mathematical magic. Here goes Retail Math 101.
I bought some rugs at Overstock because they were having a 5% site-wide discount on all home decor items. I also had a 10% coupon that came in the mail. Naturally, I thought the discounts would combine in a way that would work out to be least in my favor, that I'd have to pay something like this: .9x + (.05*.9x). But I actually got this discount: .9x - (100-.95x). So excited! I don't know if I set up these equations right and they are probably more complicated than they need to be, but basically instead of taking off the 10 percent first and then taking off 5% off of the remaining, (.9*.95 for a total of 14.5%), I got a full whopping 15% off! I know I only netted half a percent more but it's still exciting that the heydey of applying multiple coupons are back!
