Diversity

When I first met Josh I thought he had some kind of an accent but I couldn't pinpoint what kind. (And his father thought I had an accent, which really pissed me off because as a child, I was "trained" to eliminate my foreign accent. As it turns out, the training is too successful because my accent is like a phonics teacher - too much enunciation.) When we did a short hike on Snake Mountain or other, we met other hikers. It came to me in a flash that he has a Vermont accent and so does his dad.
Here's a feud we've been having about Vermont, can you settle it? I insist that the word, "creamy" is regional. Growing up in NY, I've never heard of creamy used for soft ice cream. But I haven't heard of a lot of things, so who knows? Josh insists that the term, creamy is not regional. I think creamy is similar to how Philadelphians use hoagie for sandwich. I just realized that I can Google this to settle it once and for all so this post is lame and meaningless. Oh well. It's a nod to you, Haik. I can't help it.

The Fatherland!

We're going to Josh's birthplace, Burlington Vermont during MLK weekend. We're going to be driving to the Green Mountain state. This post is pretty lame as I don't have much to say about VT like I did with Thailand so I'll let Vermonsters comment if they wish.

Cooking

I grew up mostly on Chinese fast food. My mom worked long hours and never had time to cook so we always had takeout. She did make some things every now and again but I didn't get enough experience to actually learn how to cook from her. I used to watch my grandmother cook a lot and I learned how to cut all kinds of meat and vegetables from her. Her cooking was always delicious because she sprinkled magical MSG on everything she made. Today, when people hear that I'm from Thailand and that I cook or like to cook, they get excited and jump to the conclusion that I must make really fabulous Thai food for my Asian pervert husband. Nothing could be further from the truth. I'm intimidated to cook Thai food and my husband doesn't like Thai food. What I actually cook for him are his favorite foods, which I'd like to coin, "melting pot gourmet Americana". They are things like: spaghetti and meatballs, beef tacos, chicken parmesan, etc. I always feel embarrassed telling people about these dishes because they don't seem gourmet enough for someone's who's just revealed she likes cooking. So I have to explain how I sometimes make my own salsa from tomatoes from the garden or the special way I slice and then pound chicken breasts when making chicken marsala. But then again, why do I feel pressured to live up to their image of how I cook? I was chastised the other day by Josh when I proclaimed that olive oil and vegetable oil have the same taste and utility in my kitchen.

A call for your kiss and tell

If you've ever dated or been romantically involved with my husband, Josh, please do tell if you've ever given him any feedback. According to him, no ex has ever given him any feedback on his behavior or information that would have helped him in the relationship.
I find this hard to believe. He claims I'm the only girl to give him any kind of feedback. I did have to hit him over the head a number of times (and even on the same things!) to explain things that to my amazement he'd never heard of. It felt really humiliating to cover off (repeatedly) basic things that I thought everyone took for granted. For example, he claimed to have never heard of paying for a date when you're the asker. I can't believe I actually pointed this out to him while we were on a date. It was so awkward. I remember much of our early experiences simplified in my mind to - is he really that dumb or a big asshole? (Luckily, as it turns out, he's neither.)
And there are even more uproarious things that make me blush to even think about mentioning.

Happy New Year! Happy New Year! Happy New Year!!!!

I think I'm going to make New Year's my favorite holiday. And I get to celebrate it at least three times a year!
1. Conventional western New Year (Jan 1) - time for celebration and resolutions!
2. Chinese New Year (in ~Feb) - this is one of my least favorite New Year's because I have to give people money.
3. Thai New Year (in ~April) - I really should go to Thailand to celebrate this. They really know how to have a crazy good time. During this festive holiday (Songkran) you get to throw water at anyone and everyone does it in public (using pails, buckets, water guns, whatever goes!) It's really hot in Thailand and having water thrown on you while everyone laughs actually feels good; not at all like you're the subject of a humiliating practical joke.
4. Jewish New Year (in ~September) - one of my favorites because I have to think about all my wrongs and try to be a better person.

Trip Advisor - Thailand

Highly Recommended
1. Evason Hotel in Pranburi (Hua Hin area) - Eco hotel; the best breakfast buffet (4 kinds of homemade yogurt, enjoyed by Josh); great room aesthetics.
2. Grand Hyatt Erawan hotel in Bangkok - the best 24 hr gym; great location for shopping and BTS (skytrain)
3. Sukhothai hotel in Bangkok - the best service (even better than the Oriental, in my opinion), room design and this was where we had our wedding.
4. Direct flight from NY to Bangkok on Thai airways - otherwise you'll need at least one stop over in Asia.
5. Blue Mango restaurant in Ao Nang beach, Krabi - delicious, high quality Thai food and Swedish food (not fusion); no air conditioning.
6. Naj Exquisite cuisine in Bangkok - my aunt owns this restaurant; this is not a biased review, this place rocks!
7. Go to Krabi over Phuket.
8. Visit Thailand during the months of Nov-Jan for the best weather.

Thailand and Wedding Pictorial Highlights

Sadie and Dazee in matching swings.
My husband did not even recognize me in the beastly makeup. The make up artist told me ahead of time that he was going for a "natural" look. He must work with a lot of dragons.

My dear brother adeptly adjusting his bride's bustle. I bet most men don't even know what one is.
Check out those cool roots!
Mimi and her bridesmaids. From the left - Liz, ever the sport, wore a dress that had a makeshift lace corset back since there wasn't even enough material to cover her modest frame. Me, I'm in an ill-fitting dress, a sacrifice since my sister didn't want to wear it. Mona, Mimi, my sister, Siri and Sara. My beautiful mother and her grand-daughter, my daughter, Dazee.

My mom's mom, 90+, our oldest living ancestor.

4 generations of girls!
Look at my brother in his pimpin' white suit and pink tie. You can't tell from this picture, but the pimp- suit was completed by white leather shoes and smooth covering foundation (makeup for his face!). Mimi, his bride, looks like Venus! Dazee resplendent in all her glorious size, amply pouring out of the bassinet. With the new obese passenger rules (must buy two seats if you're big), I think we should have bought her two baby seats.

It takes a few adults to get Dazee's thumbprint. A few to hold the hand with the ink, a few more to control the other wildly failing hand. Pre-Wedding prep - My brother, holding two cell phones, a Blackberry and a PDA in his pockets.

For a pics from a professional photog, check out this link: http://www.kmkwed.wedding64.com/

Superbad a good movie, Josh - even funnier

During the movie, I turned to my husband and asked him if he thinks Jewel really likes Seth. (Seth, a "dork" would really like to get with her) He replies in the tone of a lawyer making a closing statement, "It's fiction."
This is more uproarious to me than anything! When I watch movies, I really get into the plot and the characters. I don't need much to stir my imagination. Loose characterizations, flimsy premises, I don't care. I have fun speculating about how things may end up or should end up. Why is my husband so much more logical than me?

I laughed, I cried, I PIMP!

I'm back from Thailand! I had such a wonderful time, I will post updates soon.
I really miss blogging and reading blogs! I was so pleased that Beth posted so many entries, even though I think she's officially still on hiatus.

We asked for our mail to be held for two weeks. I thought we would have to go to the post office to pick up our all of our junk mail. But guess what Sammy, our mailman left on my doorstep today:


A crate full of mail!!! I wonder if I'm supposed to return this crate and if I got this service because I tipped him?

Can't escape my genes

I have been miserable for the past 3 weeks. Unexplained stomach aches and bathroom troubles I won't go into details about. And then I figured out that I had sudden onset of lactose intolerance. That blows! I love dairy.
I read somewhere that like 90-99% of all Asians have some form of it or other. Someone at work remarked that most of us develop it by their 20s, that I got an extra decade or so to enjoy dairy.

The Motherland

Dear gentle and not-so-gentle readers, I'm off to the sin city of the east, my birthplace, Bangkok Thailand.
I used to be one of those "great" and "understanding" girlfriends that questioned when other girlfriends prohibited their beloveds from going to bachelor parties or having one. Well, ladies, I got my comeuppance. My wedding was in Thailand. No way was I going to let my Asian fetish husband have a bachelor party in Bangkok. Back then, the dollar was worth a little more than it is today, so a bevy of talented sex performers or sex geishas who could open beer bottles with their vaginas or write Happy Birthday from their crotches could be had for cheap. Sorry Josh, that your "bachelor" party even degraded to the point where a female friend tagged along.

Addicted to umami

Excerpt of definition of umami from wikipedia:
Umami is a Japanese word meaning "savory" or "meaty" and thus applies to the sensation of savoriness—specifically, to the detection of glutamates, which are especially common in meats, cheese and other protein-heavy foods. The action of umami receptors explains why foods treated with monosodium glutamate (MSG) often taste "fuller". Not only do I love junky soy burgers, but I can't get enough of MSG. I need a daily dose of it, in either sour cream and onion flavored chips or Thai instant noodles. I don't know why MSG has a bad rap. It occurs naturally in things like yeast or seaweed. I think some companies are trying to obscure that they use MSG equivalents by using disodium guanylate or disodium inosinate. Like Utz potato chips or Lipton instant side dishes. I haven't yet seen a product that uses these ingredients with a flagrant "NO MSG" label.
But anyway, I don't give a fuck. Please label "YES! LOTS OF MSG" or "UMAMI FOR YOU".

QUICK - Go see Ben Scaccia in Local Story!

I recently saw Local Story at the Access Theatre. The play is running until 12/20 so go run and get tickets or buy them at the door. Afterwards, go eat in Chinatown!
I really got into the plot. I can't watch TV or movies, they're too slick and irrelevant for me. Small productions are the way to go, they're going to monopolize my very large entertainment budget of like $20 per month.
The actors are all so well cast in Local Story. I have to plug our very own Ben Scaccia. He did some really convincing nerd trying to be a cool kid virgin-smoker sputtering bit. Ben and Leanne, if you're reading this, I'm going to see every play you star in. I've loved every role Ben has played.
After the show was over, Josh and I hung around because we wanted to talk to Ben a bit. Before Ben came out to meet us, some of his co-stars were already milling with the crowd. I like that. I like the intimacy of meeting the artists and I feel cool knowing that I know one of the actors.
As for the rest of the cast, it's a little weird to see them off stage because they were so convincing in their roles. Because the first experience I have with them is in an acting role, when I meet their real selves, the real selves are actually the actors to me. It's kind of like when you're a kid and you see your teacher at the mall. You get so freaked out to see them out of the usual context.
Ben -- GREAT WORK!! We had a great time watching and rooting for you.

Shameless marketing

Whoa! Read this article on how invasive ads are becoming...
An excerpt -- "How soon will it be until in addition to the do-not-call list, we'll have a 'do not beam commercial messages into my head' list?"

Fashionably insensitive and looking ageless

In a previous post, I gave examples of my sometimes avant-garde or ridiculous (you pick) get-ups. Well, I forgot to tell you about my other half. His glasses are detectably uneven and he owns (and wears!) an ill-fitting pumpkin-spiced color alpaca overcoat that he insists is pimpin'.
My pookie is also preternaturally well preserved in terms of his looks and clothes. It is so spooky to see pictures of him from 10 years ago or so wearing the same t-shirt he still wears today and looking exactly the same - age 22-24. It's not fair -- How can someone who shuns sunscreen look younger than me, totally high-SPF sunscreen obsessed? How can a goddamn t-shirt be wearable after 15 years of use?! If this trend continues, it won't be long before I have to drudge through stupid May-December jokes about how I robbed the cradle when I married him.
Meanwhile, I've changed and aged tremendously. I'm in the midst of cleaning and organizing my closets...and I bemoan having to throw out the preposterously small garments that were cut for a pixie. Should I save some of those things for my 2 yr old daughter to wear in a few years? It's so laughable that I don't even believe that I was ever that small.

I'm a total embarrassment

Mr. Rochester would probably keep me in the basement. I like to wear mis-matched bright colors. I combine trends. I own fluorescent pink imitation Crocs. I wear them with everything because I think they match everything. I have slouchy fuchsia leather elbow gloves. I fold hems of jeans hem up like 10 inches. If worse comes to worse and I don't have anything to wear, I think lingerie on top of white dress shirts are acceptable. I asked my mother-in-law to knit me a pair of arm-warmers. She and my father in-law thought I was joking.
I kinda feel sorry for my kids that I'm a total embarrassment, but I can't help it and in a strange and twisted way, I'm proud.

Asian parent sex trauma

Why do Asian parents insist on telling their kids what seems to them like harmless white lies about where babies come from? Many Asian friends have told me a recurring theme, that their parents told them they were found under a bridge. I guess my crazy, over-achieving parents overshot a little, as they told me I was found in a garbage can.
I have to be sure to give Sadie the proper and truthful "white" upbringing on where she came from. I'm curious which, if any American actually told their children they were brought in by a stork?
So I'm believing that the Asian way is at best untruthful and at worst harmful to some children's delicate psyches.

Stick it to OPEC

I've been giving my husband a lot of flack for his unconventional driving tactics that I thought were ineffective. Not only that, they seem unsafe and can be embarrassing to me.
As it turns out, there's support for this madness and even a term - "hypermiling" and it's probably effective.
Hypermiling = Driving with the goal to save gas (to increase mileage)...
For examples, he tries to avoid braking, shifts into neutral while going downhill, coasting/timing for greens at upcoming stop lights, etc. (Can you pls do this when the two babies are NOT in the car?!)
Check out these record-breaking hypermilers. Thanks Ari for the link.
Only people who can be so extremely focused (like my husband) can do this. I'd probably crash into other cars if I tried.

Suburban deals

SUPERMARKET
Tropicana OJ 96 oz for only $3. On top of that, if I spend $20, I can get $5 off my next shopping order. AND they will TRIPLE coupon...even a cheap person like me can't get it together (who the heck cuts coupons?) or figure out how to fit all this shit into my house. Hubby helpfully suggested we have more kids or get another fridge.

DEPARMENT STORE
Can you believe that I got this satin, down/feather filled coat with fur trim for like 60% off? Lord and Taylor was running a "Great Gifts" sale, so it was 40% off. I found a coupon online for an extra 20% off. And then I opened a charge and got an extra 15% off. I thought about stealing one in every color and length.

Unofficial past time of Thai people

For some reason, Thai people love to draw similarities of one object to another. When Josh and I hired a guide for a cave that had plentiful and impressive stalactite and stalagmite formations, one of the guide's joy was to tell us what he thought each looked like. Chicken, he'd point to one and so on and so forth. He even pulled my then fiancé aside to tell him about the one that he thought looked like a vagina. Also on the island of (Goh) Samui, one of the tourist attractions (determined by the Thai chamber of commerce?!) is dubbed Grandmother and Grandfather rock. What are they you ask? They are natural and giant rock formations that have eroded to look like external male and female reproductive organs.
Thai people also love to say that Thailand (the land mass) is shaped like an axe. I learned about this before I knew Italy was a boot. I wonder what other imaginative parallels I could draw had I remained in Thailand to complete my education.