Too cute and funny!

Sometimes I can't believe the things that come out of my children's mouths and how they cn possibly and appropriately apply to a situation. Today as I finished buckling Dazy in her car seat, she says in a heavy accent - O dat hurt me. I'm so shocked I can't even believe that I heard. Did that really hurt her? So I swiggle the buckle around, thinking she means it feels tight or it bunched up with her pants. And then I said, Is that OK now? And seemingly older than all her years of 20 months she succinctly replies in another heavy accent - O dat bedder.

Taking burning the midnight oil concept tooo far

It's 10:30 PM, the mega millions numbers haven't come out yet. What gives? What time do they do this drawing? I want to know with certainty if I'm going to be a gazillionaire.

[UPDATE] It's quarter to midnight, I'm practically a pumpkin. A still poor one. My mega ball number was not a match so no winnings.

Tough questions

May God bless and keep you
Every moment every day,

May God smile at you,
And fill your heart in every way

May God help you find the goodness in everything you do,

May you be blessed with peace from above, may you be blessed with peace from above.

Every time we sing this song at Tot Shabbat, it is so heartwarming and uplifting. All the children are sitting under the tallit, so innocent and sweet - from ages 9 months to about 5 years, as the adults stand above them, holding the tallit. Like we're watching over and protecting all of them...twenty or so little ones, in all sizes, shapes and colors.

Tonight was no different, after the rendition, I felt so filled with joy. And then a few seconds after, a 3 year old or so boy looks at me solemnly and asks, "Why did God create bad guys?"

A moment ago the world was so good and perfect...then this boy pops me out of my bubble.

Which odds are better?

Playing the same lotto numbers over and over again or selecting new
ones each time?

On another note, it is so weird that lotto is not only legal, but is
run by our govt. Isn't it kind of like a giant pyramid scheme?

Joking like Josh

Following a long string of bizarre behavior (at least from my husband's perspective), including a lot of shopping and even getting ashes (egads!) on Ash Wednesday, I've picked up yet more items he would never approve. This time, it's $5 worth of lottery tickets for mega millions. The jackpot is $117 million, results come out this Friday...wish me luck. And honey, if I win, I'd like to buy a few more things before I give you the money to refinance our mortgage.

Need job at army canteen

What's wrong with me? I can never cook just for a few people or enough for my family, but I have to go way overboard. Today, I made 6.5 quarts of carrot soup! I think it tastes pretty good. Any takers?

Part of my problem might be the enormous cookware I've demanded from my husband. I think I'm the only one I know who owns not one but two 14" frying pans!

The soup was a product of using a 12 quart stock pot, probably the largest one in most kitchens. But I go one further. I own a behemoth, 20 quart stock pot! Sometimes I make a ridiculous amount of chili in it. 4 lbs of beef, 2 lbs of sausage, 4 lbs of dry beans, an insane amount of peppers, and onions, and various sundry. This chili can swallow up any ingredients. Once, I chopped up an entire bunch of cilantro and the chili swallowed all of it up, the cilantro all but disappeared.

I chuckle at recipes that say, this can be doubled. Pfshaw!!! What I'd like to know is can your recipe be octupled?!

Good laughs

I come home from work today and my older daughter is not her usual rambunctious self. She's lying down on the couch. I feel her all around and conclude that she has a fever.
"I think you're sick, Sadee," I say to her.
"Are you sick, Mom?" she replies.
"Only a little," I say.
"Well, you're little sick and I'm big sick," she responds. Heehehehe.

Then after I give her some Tylenol, I notice sweat beads on her nose.
"I think her fever's breaking," I say to Josh.
"Yeah, I'm losing my fever, " she chimes in. "I can't find it."

Hahahahahah!

Youthful thinking

My daughter is fascinated by foreign languages. She's always asking to hear her favorite Disney songs in other languages on Youtube. She can actually sing "A Whole New World" in a few languages. But I think she might think that foreign languages are gobbedy gook because she will make random sounds and insist she's speaking or singing in Japanese.
The other day, a Japanese person and her child was at our house and I thought it would be a good opportunity to show her that Japanese is a real language and not non-sense sounds. I pointed out to Sadie when she spoke Japanese. She told Sadie about how to say goodbye, 'sayonara'.
I think she got very confused. She kept asking me, "Mom why are they talking like that?" as if the only reason to "talk like that" was for amusement. It perplexed her to witness two people, who were clearly communicating and exchanging thoughts with each other, but she had no idea what was being said.
It is reminiscent of my own experience from childhood. I remembered that when I first came to America, it was so confusing that nobody spoke or understood Thai. I remember being told things like dog means 'ma', etc. I kept thinking, well if dog means 'ma', then why don't we all just cut to the chase and say 'ma'. My frame of reference was so self-centered.
I think it's interesting to think about the thoughts we had as children that we couldn't verbalize or understand. And it feels really good to remember the ones that used to stump us in our youth and answer our own unanswered or previously thought unanswerable questions. I wonder how much of my daughter's experience with that I witness but won't be able to appreciate until she grows up and points them out to me.
Right now the days are always full of why this and why that. Which ones are the ones that are truly memorable, that she will recall later in life, and answer her own questions with great amusement and pleasure? Give herself the same joy she gives me everyday!

Little gator

"Your skin is so dry! Like an alligator!"
"Are you scared?"
"No, what is there to be scared of?"
"Are you scared of me?!"
"No, why would I be scared of you?"
"Because I'm an alligator!"
"No, sweetie, people often compare dry skin to an alligator's. You're not an alligator."
"You're not scared I gonna eat you? Cuz I'm an alligator?"
"No, you're not an alligator. Your dry skin is LIKE an alligator's."

Ups and downs

Every time I wash Saydee's hair, it's a battle. She doesn't want me to rinse her hair; she doesn't like the feeling of water over her ears or face. It's really a nuisance for me because I can't finish the task at hand and I worry that when she takes swim lessons, she will be at a disadvantage. A friend of mine told me that her daughter was the same way and she had the same concerns, but had a success story. She decided on the tough love route and poured water over her daughter's face. For some time, her daughter screamed bloody murder but after a bit of time, she got used to it.
I've been taking the patient, gentle coddling route - putting up with her and finding creative ways to rinse shampoo off her head. The other day, my patience ran really thin. I threatened to pour water over her head if she wasn't going to tilt her head back for me. I repeated the threat a few times, to give her ample opportunity to cooperate with me. In the end, I poured water over her head, the whole time wretched with guilt, knowing how she would react. But I really wanted to rinse all the shampoo off and get the bath done. Any way, it was worse than I thought....she jumped out of the tub in absolute fear and terror. She cried and cried for at least ten minutes. I felt terrible. Through her screams and tears, I apologized profusely and tried explaining that if she cooperated next time, this won't happen again.
About twenty minutes later, she had fully settled down and we were in our bedtime routine, which is always very special to me. We often cuddle and exchange some nice words. I apologized again for pouring water over her face. She tells me, "That's OK mom, you don't have to say sorry." Her tone is so wise and mature, she had communicated so clearly to me that she had moved on and didn't even need any apologies. Amazing. Twenty minutes ago, I was dealing with a whiny 3 year old and now she's wiser than me.

Ranting and Raving

If someone were to start a stop watch and ask me to either start verbalizing all of my complaints or things I want, I could get really excited and go on for a long time before pausing even for a breath. However, give the same challenge to my husband and you'd practically have to start and stop the watch at the same time. "What? Did you say something?" you might ask. "No, nothing," he would respond. Then in an annoyingly chirpy and cheerful tone, he might say, "I want nothing. And I have nothing to complain about."

What gives?!

Keys to the city

So Bloomberg has awarded "keys to the city" to Captain Sullenberger
and his crew for their heroics and amazing feat of landing Flight 549
beautifully with no lives lost or major injuries. What the heck are
"keys to the city"?! Is this literal or figurative or both? Can the
Cpt unlock the doors to Gracie Mansion? Go to the Bronx zoo after
hours? Get to the head of a line at the DMV? Get into a Yankee game
for free? Etc. I'd like to know exactly what is proffered by this
privilege and why every journalist assumes I know because I have no
clue.

UPDATE - I found this website defining keys to the city.
Still pretty murky to me. Says that "...the recipient is as free to come and go at will." When, where, what, how?!

Listen up Chinese takeout establishments

What's up with hot oil? Why not just "hot" and no "oil"? It'll save you money and I'll like it more.

If only life were so simple

"Are you going to come to my house tomorrow?" my daughter asks me last night as she's going to bed.
"Yes, I'm going to stay home with you tomorrow. I'm taking the day off work." I reply.
"Mom, do you like to go to work?" she asks.
"No," I reply.
"Stay home then, OK? Mom why don't you stay home with me?"

Kaju Katli - All Natural

reads the box of snack food that looks like pieces of gilded cookies that and Indian guest brought over to our house. Ingredients: Kaju, sugar, desi ghee.

There is other "English" writing on the box but I don't understand a word. I'm too full to give it a taste right now, but I will try it tomorrow. It can't be bad if sugar is the second ingredient.

Unless sugar means something else I'm not aware of...

Worse Valentine Gift Ever

I was really amused by the entries to Talbot's Worst Valentine's Day Gift ever contest. I'd like to enter this contest but I never got a gift for V-day. I did receive a bag of nuts and an iron on my birthday - and not together, because that budget would be too over the top. They were for two different years. Hehehehe.

Limited Express

I was waiting for a city bus today and when it arrived, it pulled sharply to the curb like a drunken sailor as waiter-bys like me jump from the curb fearing for our dear lives. As people were boarding, I shouted a question to the driver. "Is this express?" He grufflyreplies, "No!" Sadly, I walk away but it occurred me, for clarity, I should have said Is this limited? Why the MTA uses two words for the same concept is beyond me.

Mixed feelings - Material delights and frugal tendencies

Yesterday, a few packages from Williams Sonoma arrive for me. They wait patiently for my kids to go to bed and then the fun begins. First off, they arrive in what appears to be your run-of-the-mill corrugated cardboard boxes. But a closer examination reveals that they don't have the conventional perforated two flaps that are taped up in the middle, but an entire fold-over flap that tucks inside the box, ie. the box opens like a giant hinged gift box - very elegant and reminiscent of origami. Then, when you lift up the flap to open the box, the inside is lined in white paper and the Williams Sonoma logo in giant print "greets" you.
I've ordered stuff from other retailers before and never have they elevated or refined the humble and hum-drum corrugated cardboard box, so hats off to WS. Definitely not environmental to be creating, designing and using boxes that are non-standard, but boy are they delightful.
Finally, the throw that I ordered was tied up to look like a present in white grosgrain ribbon.At first I decided it was too nice to even open, but that created an economic dilemma because I wanted to use the throw. In the end, I settled with saving the ribbon and using the throw.
But, the biggest surprise of all was that, tucked inside one of the boxes was a complimentary round petite soap, wrapped in finely pleated tissue paper. I felt so giddy, it was like finding a luxe chocolate mint tucked in your bed, a top off to "turned down" service at a nice hotel. Except it's even better, because I don't eat mints but I do use soap.
Finally, I am so sad to recycle these delightful cardboard boxes and throw them out on the curb, because without closer examination, they look exactly like their regular, unrefined, with-no-family-crest cardboard box cousins, at least thrice removed and definitely from the wrong side of the tracks. It would be much better and more efficient for the world if my delight could be recyled to other people.
In sum, I have to give WS a lot of credit for stirring and bundling these emotions in me - both delight and a weird sense of Depressionesque-World-War-II-rationing-frugal-must-save-everything mentality.

Harvard wants my money and they're gonna get it

Just when I was lamenting for someone to curry favor with me, the latest issue of Harvard's publication, "The Yard" is addressed to both me and Josh. I don't know how or why this happened, but we're both perplexed over it.
Looks like I'll be giving money to Harvard and not Cornell....

Looking for a new (and cheap and clean) nail salon

I was at the nail salon this weekend, trying to explain to the owner that I had lost my loyalty card. (If you get 10 services, you get a free manicure.) I've easily been to this place at least ten times but have never cashed out on the free manicure. So I told her about how I got my purse stolen and that the thief took the contents of it, including my loyalty card. I was interested in getting about 5-7 stamps from the owner. I thought it was a reasonable request given that we can both agree that I've frequented the salon more than 5-7 times in the past year. She flatly denied my request (and moreover, didn't even sympathize or make one comment about my stolen purse). So I boldly looked her in the eyes and said, I probably won't be coming back here anymore then. I don't like frequenting service oriented places that pretend you've never been there before. I don't want to be treated like a number or a twenty dollar bill. I'm so annoyed that she wouldn't give me the stamps and made zero attempt at currying my favor. When I get my nails done, I want a pleasant obsequious chatty owner. Not a money-focused tight-lipped shrew. Is that too much to ask?