Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Ups and downs

Every time I wash Saydee's hair, it's a battle. She doesn't want me to rinse her hair; she doesn't like the feeling of water over her ears or face. It's really a nuisance for me because I can't finish the task at hand and I worry that when she takes swim lessons, she will be at a disadvantage. A friend of mine told me that her daughter was the same way and she had the same concerns, but had a success story. She decided on the tough love route and poured water over her daughter's face. For some time, her daughter screamed bloody murder but after a bit of time, she got used to it.
I've been taking the patient, gentle coddling route - putting up with her and finding creative ways to rinse shampoo off her head. The other day, my patience ran really thin. I threatened to pour water over her head if she wasn't going to tilt her head back for me. I repeated the threat a few times, to give her ample opportunity to cooperate with me. In the end, I poured water over her head, the whole time wretched with guilt, knowing how she would react. But I really wanted to rinse all the shampoo off and get the bath done. Any way, it was worse than I thought....she jumped out of the tub in absolute fear and terror. She cried and cried for at least ten minutes. I felt terrible. Through her screams and tears, I apologized profusely and tried explaining that if she cooperated next time, this won't happen again.
About twenty minutes later, she had fully settled down and we were in our bedtime routine, which is always very special to me. We often cuddle and exchange some nice words. I apologized again for pouring water over her face. She tells me, "That's OK mom, you don't have to say sorry." Her tone is so wise and mature, she had communicated so clearly to me that she had moved on and didn't even need any apologies. Amazing. Twenty minutes ago, I was dealing with a whiny 3 year old and now she's wiser than me.

1 comment:

js said...

Maybe she thought that it was an accident?