Kiddie quotes

The other morning, when I got out of bed, I got a very funny surprise. D pulled my pants away from my waist and asked, "Poopy in diaper?" I felt the draft and started laughing...she imitated something I subject her to all the time - viewing her backside and checking for poop!

My friend James is really ingratiating himself with my kids. He appeals to all their desires and demands, like picking them up and throwing them around as often as they ask. Both S and D are totally in love. The other night, before J left, S said to him, "I'm going to keep you". "Don't go home, James." This morning D wouldn't let me put her diaper on. She's been struggling with the simplest of tasks like that, it's really been a pain. So I said to her, "Can James put your diaper on?" She said, "Yah!" But of course, I ended up putting it on, since James was nowhere in sight. Every parent needs a fun and energetic James to play with their kids.

Last night, D was giving me the hardest time about going to sleep. She kept whining and crying for no reason. So I resorted to one of the few tricks that often work. I asked her in a baby talk voice in Thai, "Gow lung?", which means, "Scratch your back?". Usually, even if she's screaming at the top of her lungs, asking her this question will make her stop in her tracks and say, "Yah!" in a normal voice without a hint of whininess. It's pretty incredible to see the quick transition in action. So after she said Yah!, I started to scratch her back, then she would command, "Again, again!" if I slowed down or stopped. Then when I start again, she'd express her approval, "I like it, I like it." It's so funny!

New project - toddler haggadah

I can't find any good and free haggadahs suitable for toddlers on the Internet. I'm going to make it my two year project.

Things I hate paying for

Shipping
Handling
Parking
Late fees
Credit card surcharge
Registration fees
Anything non-refundable
Drinks (includes alcoholic, soft ones and water)
Dinner when lunch specials are available
Bowling shoes rental
Gum at retail (instead of warehouse/club price)

And I wish I didn't have to pay extra for lactose free milk. I think it was priced more competitively in Hawaii where there are more of my lactose-intolerant brethen.

What's good for the goose

"I have to poop!" S announces loudly. So begins a frantic rush to the bathroom to help her on the potty. After she is safely ensconced on the throne, she will look at me and say firmly, "I need some privacy, please." That's my cue to close the door and wait outside for her.
"I'm done!" she yells. That's my cue to go back in and wipe her.

Last night, I was using the bathroom and S barges in, something frequently done by both S and D. "S," I said. "I need some privacy, please close the door."

"I promise I won't look, Mom. I will turn around," she says, as she starts walking away. Since there were guests milling about in the house, I yelled after her. "No, please come back and close the door!" But my request fell on deaf ears.

When the man is in charge

"Can you feed D at 11:30 and put her down for a nap at 12 so I can continue my workout?" I ask my husband a little frantically from coatroom in the gym. I'm a little nervous because I don't know if he can do it or maybe I won't be satisfied with how he does it.
"Yea, sure," he says a little dismissively like, I don't need instructions from you for such routine stuff.

I had a super great workout, sore everywhere. I get home and walk in the door at 11:50. Both children are crying, one of them is completely bottomless and both of them tell me that they're hungry. Poor little D is crying and her nose is runny. Of course my husband is nowhere in sight. I wipe D's nose and assure her that I'm going to make her lunch. She tries to calm down but she's hysterically hungry.

In a mad haze, I start assembling the ingredients for both their lunches. They are crying the whole time and that makes me both nervous and motivated. Within 5 furious minutes, I'm less frazzled. It's peaceful again as both girls begin to eat their lunch.

After D is done, I put her down for a nap. Then I eat my lunch. The husband asks if I can cook up some chicken for him and I agree to do it. He was a big help in cutting up the onions and slicing the chicken, albeit into pieces a little too thick for my taste.

While cooking up the chicken S interrupts me a minimum of 4 times for something or other. Eventually I can enjoy the fruits of my labor. 4 lbs of mexican inspired chicken cooked up that he can add some pepper jack cheese and either make a nice wrap or have it with some chips. I make up my mind to donate at least 1.5lb of it to a friend I'll see tomorrow morning.

Then I noticed that the door off the cabinet in the island is hanging off and away from its hinge. It's completely broken! It looked like a 300lb gorilla ripped it off in one fell swoop or... the signature work of Dazee Starr.

A few minutes later, I go over to the dining table and notice that two of the leather chairs have big crayon circles all over them. "Did you even watch these kids?!" I question the husband. With a sigh, I clean it up. I could feel my sore triceps working as I work to scrub off the stains. Luckily they come off reasonably easily.

More quotes

It's very dark and I'm trying to get my kids to bed. "Shhhh!" I shush S in a stern voice.
She replies with a mantra that I've heard before in a very earnest voice, "I have to work in college".

"Wow!" I remark to S. "I think that's the best tattoo ever!"
"Yes," she agreed. "Sometimes the others are bad. This one is the goodest."

"S, let me wash your hands!" For some strange reason, she held back one of her hands. I got very annoyed and didn't understand why she recoiled. Then she explained that washing that hand would wash her tattoo away.

Quotes from the evening

"Dis! Dis!" D tells at me and points towards a pile of papers on the desk. I have no idea what she wants and totally dismiss her request. I try to distract her with something else. "This?" I ask, giving her something clearly not in her field of vision. "Dis! Dis!" she yells louder, clearly distressed that I'm not going to give her what she asked for. "What?!" I said. "What do you want?!"
"Dis, dis, dis! Mommy! Mommy!" she repeats.
I look carefully at the pile of random pieces of papers. Among it is an old university ID card with my picture! Hence, "Mommy!"
It's so funny to see will and purpose expressed at a young age. And I thought I didn't look like that any more but if an almost 2 year old knows it's me, I guess it is what I look like still. Big hair and a terrible smile!


"Are you an alligator again? Your arms are so dry!"
"No, I'm not an alligator," she whines. "I don't wanna be an alligator! If I be an alligator, I'm going to eat you. Then I will have no mommy!"

After we've said our goodnights and we're lying in the dark, S keeps talking and blathering on. "Shhhh!" I shush her. "Stay quiet or I have to leave!" I threatened.
In a few moments, I adjust my position and S brags, "I fall asleep already."
I'm about to say something to contradict her but she preempts me by continuing to talk. "Don't talk to me Mom," she warns. Then she lectured me, "If you talk to me, you might be boddering me."

Soon all was quiet on the home front. I had two peacefully sleeping children. So I snuck out of the room and came downstairs and started this blog. What I really should do now is go to the gym.......

In total awe

S's therapist had me in total awe and admiration. He got S to put on her shoes, pants, shirt, brush her teeth and open the front door all by herself. And really fast, in a quick manner as if she was running a race to save her life. All because she wanted to put her hands into a sticky cornstarch and water mixture that he had dumped pieces of plastic tchotkes in. Brilliant!
I was so proud of S. I didn't even know she was capable of doing those things, the way she would complain and resist, dragging on getting dressed in the morning. Guess we need to bribe her with cornstarch, water and plastic. Works so much better than M&M's or chocolate balls!

Get this child away from porclean

I'm so amused and impressed by what D did today. In less than about 15 seconds she:
1. Opened up more than twenty windows on my computer. Some of the windows hung and a few hours later, they are still hung and it seems like the only way to solve this problem is a reboot.
2. She took a pen and started banging really hard on the keyboard, if I didn't take it away, something was definitely going to break. After I took away her weapon, she started banging with all her might all over the keyboard, like a non-stop-gone-hay-wire jackhammer.
3. She pushed all the contents off the table - papers, pen, binder clips, etc. on the floor.
4. She grabbed a lens holder and dumped out the lenses again and again.
5. She found a packet of seeds and I saved her from dumping them out in the nick of time.

All this in 15 seconds!

I'm totally astounded by how she breaks everything.

Elated and depressed

I was so elated today because the hubby and I decided to join Equinox together. And we had a great workout tonight.
Right before I left I went on the scale. Egads! That was a stupid thing to do.
I am still 126. I don't get it.
Two weeks into my diet and I haven't lost any weight yet.
Confession: I had two lunches and two dinners today.

Kids say the darndest things

It's so amazing how capable kids are at a young age to repeat words and actions.

I remember S at 8 months went around saying, "Bullshit" for a full day because she heard me say it to her dad.

The other day, little D was holding her lovie and said, "I love you, Teddy". She then proceeded to kiss her toy. Awwww....Or she runs up to me, wraps her chubby arms as tight as she can around my leg and says with a big grin, "I gonna put you in gulag!".

S has been known to say, "I'm going to kill you" or "Stupid" or "Shut up" or the ever popular "Poopy" and the sinister "You can't come to my house". That last one I think she made up herself. As well as "I'm going to throw a fire on you!"

And then the sweet side of S, "You're my best friend" etc.

No one to blame

It's 8:30 and dark, as we leave a friend's house with the kids. It's been a long day of fun and eating, especially for S, who indulged in all kinds of sweets.
"My tummy hurts," she says. "Take my cookies away so I don't eat them," she tells Josh in a mature voice, handing over her goody bag.
"Tomorrow I'm not going to eat junky food," she promises. Then she tries to find a scapegoat. "Who gave me all this junky food?" she asks.
"It doesn't matter who gave it to you, you ate it, so it's your fault," I said.
"Did myself give me the treats?" she questions.

Yogi baby

D is lying down on the bed while I'm fumbling with the diaper. "Help, help, help," she says. As I am about to put her diaper on, she lifts up her hips and tush into the air as if she's doing "bridge".
"Wow! Thanks!" I said. "That was a big help!"
She weighs about 28 lbs, 3 lbs less than her sister, who's 2 years older.

Carrot soup and the AIG tax

I found this email in my inbox this morning from the hubby.

Subject: "The people are finding their voice"

Body: "I think. A blog might be in order:

We're closer to a revolution than I've ever seen in this country. The people are angry, and politicians will look to appease them. Whether rational or not, they will need some appeasement. Hopefully some good comes of it like the historically politically difficult healthcare reform.
The people are angry, and are starting to care enough to demand some of what they felt powerless to effect in the past. They are finding their voice."

My response: "U wrote this?"

His response: "yes I did. Now I'm going to heat up a quart of your carrot soup for breakfast. "

I did it again

Made 6 qts of delicious carrot soup!
I froze one quart. I think my family can eat 2-3 quarts. So I need to give away 1-2 quarts.

Good things

This blog post is my mini-version of a favorite Martha Stewart Living magazine feature, a collection of random tips. Although this version is only about cooking.

1. The typical meatballs (for spaghetti and meatballs) recipe calls for meat, eggs, breadcrumbs, seasonings (salt, pepper, oregano, basil, majoram, etc.), etc. I don't always use eggs - I can take it or leave it, it doesn't make or break a recipe. My best secrets for meatballs: use a little brown sugar (or even plain white granulated will do), put in a little tomato sauce and food process tons of garlic and onions into a watery pulp and combine ingredients in a large bowl well. Once combined, form them into balls. THIS YIELDS THE MOST DELICIOUS AND BEST MEATBALLS EVER, after 8 years of experimentation. Any ground meat will do, turkey and chicken will yield more tender meatballs than beef, but they are also hard to keep together and form into a ball. You can also mix meats. Turkey with beef or beef with ground chicken works well and taste good.
2. Before having that navel orange, grab your peeler, make some zest and then freeze. I find navel oranges make the best zest. I got really mad at myself tonight for eating a navel orange without making zest - a lost opportunity!
3. I learned this from a Rachel Ray magazine - to easily peel garlic, microwave it for 10 seconds. Works like a charm, peel comes right off! I wonder if any nutrients are lost though...
4. The best roast chicken ever: combine tons of grated ginger, finely chopped garlic, orange zest a little brown sugar and soy sauce. Take a whole chicken, separate the skin from it and rub some butter between the breasts and skin. Salt between the breasts and skin and all over the outside. Peel a tangerine and squeeze the juice over and inside the chicken. Put the leftover tangerine (with mashed flesh and peel) inside the cavity. Spread your sauce of ginger et. all between the breasts and skin. And then all over and under the chicken. Bake at 500 for 20 minutes. And then 350 for 40 minutes. This yielded the most delicious and tender 4lb chicken for me. I just had it tonight. YUMMMMM!!!

Give me a break!

A few snippets from the NEW YORK AP:
"Federal prosecutors have notified a New York court that they also want the assets of Bernard Madoff's wife. In a court filing, the government said it will seek the $7 million Manhattan penthouse as well as another $62 million that Ruth Madoff had sought to keep.
Madoff's lawyers had indicated earlier that they planned to claim Ruth Madoff was entitled to keep as much as $69 million in assets.
They said the assets were not part of Madoff's fraud and that they were in her name."

Doh, where do you think she got those assets from?! I'm pretty sure there's a high probability they were ill-gotten from the scheme they were running.

Diet update

Yesterday was a pathetic performance for my diet. I ate two lunches, two dinners and didn't work out (even though it was time to). I blamed it on D for staying up late, thus throwing my timing off, causing me to eat late which prevented me from working out.
I'm not off to a good start this morning either. We just ran out of my favorite breakfast cereal so I have nothing (healthy) for breakfast. When I got to work, I started eating the only nourishment I could find, Saltines. I had two of them, ick!
Wish me luck that I don't go across the street for a decadent sausage, eggs, cheese and hash browns.
But then again, it is Shabbat. I know when I get home tonight, I will tear into that deliciously dough-y and sweet challah.
J says in order to be on a diet you have to cut out carbs. But I won't even try to do that. I think reducing all portions is more manageable and hopefully, reasonably efficient.

Sharing is caring

"Heah..." S says, handing over a small handful of found booty (cheerios) to her sister.
"You can have some. But that's it. Or else you will get diarrhea," she warns her sister.

Conversation at Trader Joe's

I told S to let me wear her pink plastic ring bc I was afraid she
might lose it in the store. Surprisingly she handed over her ring
agreeably and remarked, "You wear my ring cuz you're married to me."

In the parking lot S said to me, I like cheese so much, like mice. "

I feel like I have to go around with a tape recorder. Gems are
frequently dropping left and right.