Dirty money

Wow, my hypochondriac, germ-phobic mother was right about money being dirty. Read this short article, Can You Catch Swine Flu From Money?

Trouble

"What are the rules of Kidz Club?" I prod S.
Kidz Club is an activity we send her to twice a week and they work on social skills - like turn taking and being polite, etc.

"No hitting!" she says. I don't remember this as one of the official rules, but I play along as definitely I agree you shouldn't hit.

"And..." I reply. "What are the other rules of Kidz Club?" I'm waiting for S to say something like Look into someone's eyes when you talk to them. Or use the person's name when you're talking to them.

Instead I get this...

"No biting!"
"Right...and what else S....what are the other rules?" I'm getting a little exasperated now by these outbursts of obvious social no-no's. So, of course she has to take me over the edge with a societal no-no:

"And no killing!" she yells.

Sheesh. I'm raising a complete punk. Hopefully not a socio-path though....

More time for returns

I just bought $5 worth of Mega Millions tickets. The drawing is late tomorrow night and the jackpot is a whopping $220 mil!

If I win, I guess I wouldn't have to work and would have more time to do returns from my bad decision making from online shopping or from impulsive brick and mortar purchases.

Sesame Tofu

I made a dish that seemed to be popular among a few vegetarians and a baby at our Seder gathering. I was asked for a recipe and here it is, although I'm totally winging it. If you're going to try it, feel free to contact me with any questions, as I'm an intuitive cook and don't measure anything. This recipe is really easy, delicious and hard to mess up.

Ingredients:
Tofu (you can even mix firm with semi firm or soft or even silken (perfect for babies and old folks with no teeth!)-- whatever works, personally, I prefer the softer - these are easier found in Asian markets, as I've noticed places like Trader Joe's and Whole Foods often stocks firm or extra firm.)
Soy sauce (I prefer Kikoman brand)
Sugar (white granulated)
Sesame oil (you can substitute any vegetable oil (corn, canola, veg, etc.), I don't recommend olive but in a pinch I'm sure it's fine)
Sesame seeds (optional - seriously it is even though it's called "sesame" tofu. Sesame to me is kinda of like a flavor and color - ppl are expecting a sweetish kind of brown sauce.)
Scallions (optional)
Corn starch
Onions
Water

Cut up the tofu in cubes and set aside. Cut up the onions in small pieces and set aside. Finely dice the scallions if you're using as a garnish (makes it look a little nicer, otherwise tofu in brown sauce tends to look like you know what) and set that aside. Heat the oil in a pan. Stir fry the chopped onions for a few minutes. Then put in the tofu, stir fry a litle and then add in the sesame seeds. Keep stirring the whole time (makes me feel useful). Add some soy sauce and sugar to taste - season it a little too much as you will then add water to create some liquid. In a small finger bowl, use mix together cornstarch (2 tsp?) and a little water, making sure the cornstarch is "melted" and mixed well with the water by using your fingers. When the liquid and tofu is super hot (boiling over), slowly add in the cornstarch and water mixture and stir as you add. Continue until you run out of the mixture. You can turn off the heat after it's all cooked and mixed through - the cornstarch mixture simply thickens it so it becomes gravy/sauce like.

When you're all done, sprinkle the finely diced scallions on top, if you're using that.

If you want, you can add ground meat to it. Cook the ground meat first with the onions. And if you want something spicy, forget the tofu, use ground meat, all else being the same and then add in Korean Hot bean paste (and other chopped veggies if you want), serve on hot white rice and a fried egg - it's kind of like bi bim bap.

Instant gratification for some

Last night I bought myself some Mother's day presents from Josh. I'm looking forward to when they come in the mail.

When it comes to consumption, my husband and I are definitely not two peas in the pod. For one, anything new I get, I want to use right away. I become a deranged individual, looking for ways to remove the tag and even thinking of biting as a solution, if scissors are not available at the counter so that walk out of stores with the item on, be it shoes, clothes or accessories.

My dear hubby on the other hand will keep items in his closet for months, weeks or even years, "preserving" them. He once pulled out a really ratty looking and probably smelly (everything he owns is musty) t-shirt when I requested that he put on something better. I gave a disapproving look and sneered. "What?!" is his response. "This is brand new!" Then he adds gleefully, "I've had it for 14 years!" And before I can continue with verbal attacks he beams, full of pride, "And it's Calvin Klein!"

At which point, I have to burst out laughing. CK was maybe exclusive in the 80s, but in today's world, you can get CK at Costco and it's all made it China anyway!

4 grandparents?!

"That's right. So you have 4 grandparents. 2 grandmas and 2 grandpas," I said to S as we were riding in the car, on the way to tot shabbat.
"Who's my other grandma? There's one at home," she replied.
"Well, Baba is your grandma too, even though you don't call her grandma. And Pa is your grandfather. And your other grandfather lives in Thailand."
A moment of silence follows my explanations as she mulls these facts.
"Who's my other mom?!" she asked.
I chuckle..."You only have one mom and one dad," I told her.

It wouldn've been enough if she just went to school

S has been out of school for a week and a half now and I think we were all looking forward to her going back. This morning, I was woken up by a lovely rendition of a verse from Dayenu.
Her sweet voice softly sang:
Ilu ho-tsi, ho-tsi-a-nu, Ho-tsi-a-nu mi-Mitz-ra-yim, Ho-tsi-a-nu mi-Mitz-ra-yim, Da-ye-nu!

Life, death and lies x2

Poor S! Yesterday when I got home from work she told me in a terrified voice that she didn't want to die. I tried to comfort her with the truth ... that it happens to everyone and that it's nothing to be afraid of or to think about. And that it wouldn't happen to her in a very long time. But none of that worked, so I resorted to lies.

Then it happend again. Just before getting into bed, she broke out into big sad tears and sobbed that she didn't want me to die because then she'll have no mommy. And that "I don't want my family to die". And then she started naming everyone she could think of, D, me, J, her grandparents, etc. and that she didn't want them to die either.

She only calmed down after I told her once again that no one was going to die.

Kiddie quotes

The other morning, when I got out of bed, I got a very funny surprise. D pulled my pants away from my waist and asked, "Poopy in diaper?" I felt the draft and started laughing...she imitated something I subject her to all the time - viewing her backside and checking for poop!

My friend James is really ingratiating himself with my kids. He appeals to all their desires and demands, like picking them up and throwing them around as often as they ask. Both S and D are totally in love. The other night, before J left, S said to him, "I'm going to keep you". "Don't go home, James." This morning D wouldn't let me put her diaper on. She's been struggling with the simplest of tasks like that, it's really been a pain. So I said to her, "Can James put your diaper on?" She said, "Yah!" But of course, I ended up putting it on, since James was nowhere in sight. Every parent needs a fun and energetic James to play with their kids.

Last night, D was giving me the hardest time about going to sleep. She kept whining and crying for no reason. So I resorted to one of the few tricks that often work. I asked her in a baby talk voice in Thai, "Gow lung?", which means, "Scratch your back?". Usually, even if she's screaming at the top of her lungs, asking her this question will make her stop in her tracks and say, "Yah!" in a normal voice without a hint of whininess. It's pretty incredible to see the quick transition in action. So after she said Yah!, I started to scratch her back, then she would command, "Again, again!" if I slowed down or stopped. Then when I start again, she'd express her approval, "I like it, I like it." It's so funny!

New project - toddler haggadah

I can't find any good and free haggadahs suitable for toddlers on the Internet. I'm going to make it my two year project.

Things I hate paying for

Shipping
Handling
Parking
Late fees
Credit card surcharge
Registration fees
Anything non-refundable
Drinks (includes alcoholic, soft ones and water)
Dinner when lunch specials are available
Bowling shoes rental
Gum at retail (instead of warehouse/club price)

And I wish I didn't have to pay extra for lactose free milk. I think it was priced more competitively in Hawaii where there are more of my lactose-intolerant brethen.

What's good for the goose

"I have to poop!" S announces loudly. So begins a frantic rush to the bathroom to help her on the potty. After she is safely ensconced on the throne, she will look at me and say firmly, "I need some privacy, please." That's my cue to close the door and wait outside for her.
"I'm done!" she yells. That's my cue to go back in and wipe her.

Last night, I was using the bathroom and S barges in, something frequently done by both S and D. "S," I said. "I need some privacy, please close the door."

"I promise I won't look, Mom. I will turn around," she says, as she starts walking away. Since there were guests milling about in the house, I yelled after her. "No, please come back and close the door!" But my request fell on deaf ears.

When the man is in charge

"Can you feed D at 11:30 and put her down for a nap at 12 so I can continue my workout?" I ask my husband a little frantically from coatroom in the gym. I'm a little nervous because I don't know if he can do it or maybe I won't be satisfied with how he does it.
"Yea, sure," he says a little dismissively like, I don't need instructions from you for such routine stuff.

I had a super great workout, sore everywhere. I get home and walk in the door at 11:50. Both children are crying, one of them is completely bottomless and both of them tell me that they're hungry. Poor little D is crying and her nose is runny. Of course my husband is nowhere in sight. I wipe D's nose and assure her that I'm going to make her lunch. She tries to calm down but she's hysterically hungry.

In a mad haze, I start assembling the ingredients for both their lunches. They are crying the whole time and that makes me both nervous and motivated. Within 5 furious minutes, I'm less frazzled. It's peaceful again as both girls begin to eat their lunch.

After D is done, I put her down for a nap. Then I eat my lunch. The husband asks if I can cook up some chicken for him and I agree to do it. He was a big help in cutting up the onions and slicing the chicken, albeit into pieces a little too thick for my taste.

While cooking up the chicken S interrupts me a minimum of 4 times for something or other. Eventually I can enjoy the fruits of my labor. 4 lbs of mexican inspired chicken cooked up that he can add some pepper jack cheese and either make a nice wrap or have it with some chips. I make up my mind to donate at least 1.5lb of it to a friend I'll see tomorrow morning.

Then I noticed that the door off the cabinet in the island is hanging off and away from its hinge. It's completely broken! It looked like a 300lb gorilla ripped it off in one fell swoop or... the signature work of Dazee Starr.

A few minutes later, I go over to the dining table and notice that two of the leather chairs have big crayon circles all over them. "Did you even watch these kids?!" I question the husband. With a sigh, I clean it up. I could feel my sore triceps working as I work to scrub off the stains. Luckily they come off reasonably easily.

More quotes

It's very dark and I'm trying to get my kids to bed. "Shhhh!" I shush S in a stern voice.
She replies with a mantra that I've heard before in a very earnest voice, "I have to work in college".

"Wow!" I remark to S. "I think that's the best tattoo ever!"
"Yes," she agreed. "Sometimes the others are bad. This one is the goodest."

"S, let me wash your hands!" For some strange reason, she held back one of her hands. I got very annoyed and didn't understand why she recoiled. Then she explained that washing that hand would wash her tattoo away.

Quotes from the evening

"Dis! Dis!" D tells at me and points towards a pile of papers on the desk. I have no idea what she wants and totally dismiss her request. I try to distract her with something else. "This?" I ask, giving her something clearly not in her field of vision. "Dis! Dis!" she yells louder, clearly distressed that I'm not going to give her what she asked for. "What?!" I said. "What do you want?!"
"Dis, dis, dis! Mommy! Mommy!" she repeats.
I look carefully at the pile of random pieces of papers. Among it is an old university ID card with my picture! Hence, "Mommy!"
It's so funny to see will and purpose expressed at a young age. And I thought I didn't look like that any more but if an almost 2 year old knows it's me, I guess it is what I look like still. Big hair and a terrible smile!


"Are you an alligator again? Your arms are so dry!"
"No, I'm not an alligator," she whines. "I don't wanna be an alligator! If I be an alligator, I'm going to eat you. Then I will have no mommy!"

After we've said our goodnights and we're lying in the dark, S keeps talking and blathering on. "Shhhh!" I shush her. "Stay quiet or I have to leave!" I threatened.
In a few moments, I adjust my position and S brags, "I fall asleep already."
I'm about to say something to contradict her but she preempts me by continuing to talk. "Don't talk to me Mom," she warns. Then she lectured me, "If you talk to me, you might be boddering me."

Soon all was quiet on the home front. I had two peacefully sleeping children. So I snuck out of the room and came downstairs and started this blog. What I really should do now is go to the gym.......

In total awe

S's therapist had me in total awe and admiration. He got S to put on her shoes, pants, shirt, brush her teeth and open the front door all by herself. And really fast, in a quick manner as if she was running a race to save her life. All because she wanted to put her hands into a sticky cornstarch and water mixture that he had dumped pieces of plastic tchotkes in. Brilliant!
I was so proud of S. I didn't even know she was capable of doing those things, the way she would complain and resist, dragging on getting dressed in the morning. Guess we need to bribe her with cornstarch, water and plastic. Works so much better than M&M's or chocolate balls!

Get this child away from porclean

I'm so amused and impressed by what D did today. In less than about 15 seconds she:
1. Opened up more than twenty windows on my computer. Some of the windows hung and a few hours later, they are still hung and it seems like the only way to solve this problem is a reboot.
2. She took a pen and started banging really hard on the keyboard, if I didn't take it away, something was definitely going to break. After I took away her weapon, she started banging with all her might all over the keyboard, like a non-stop-gone-hay-wire jackhammer.
3. She pushed all the contents off the table - papers, pen, binder clips, etc. on the floor.
4. She grabbed a lens holder and dumped out the lenses again and again.
5. She found a packet of seeds and I saved her from dumping them out in the nick of time.

All this in 15 seconds!

I'm totally astounded by how she breaks everything.

Elated and depressed

I was so elated today because the hubby and I decided to join Equinox together. And we had a great workout tonight.
Right before I left I went on the scale. Egads! That was a stupid thing to do.
I am still 126. I don't get it.
Two weeks into my diet and I haven't lost any weight yet.
Confession: I had two lunches and two dinners today.

Kids say the darndest things

It's so amazing how capable kids are at a young age to repeat words and actions.

I remember S at 8 months went around saying, "Bullshit" for a full day because she heard me say it to her dad.

The other day, little D was holding her lovie and said, "I love you, Teddy". She then proceeded to kiss her toy. Awwww....Or she runs up to me, wraps her chubby arms as tight as she can around my leg and says with a big grin, "I gonna put you in gulag!".

S has been known to say, "I'm going to kill you" or "Stupid" or "Shut up" or the ever popular "Poopy" and the sinister "You can't come to my house". That last one I think she made up herself. As well as "I'm going to throw a fire on you!"

And then the sweet side of S, "You're my best friend" etc.

No one to blame

It's 8:30 and dark, as we leave a friend's house with the kids. It's been a long day of fun and eating, especially for S, who indulged in all kinds of sweets.
"My tummy hurts," she says. "Take my cookies away so I don't eat them," she tells Josh in a mature voice, handing over her goody bag.
"Tomorrow I'm not going to eat junky food," she promises. Then she tries to find a scapegoat. "Who gave me all this junky food?" she asks.
"It doesn't matter who gave it to you, you ate it, so it's your fault," I said.
"Did myself give me the treats?" she questions.