This is your brain on Facebook

After 2 nights wiff Facebook, I be totally hooked. 2 hours flew by in uh blink an' here'swhat I accomplished: 1. Read 30 or so updates on what muh ma fuckin "friends" gots been up ta (like Stefani received uh fish from Aaron) while We be both online 2. Clicked on profiles o' niggas o' niggas an' read what they've been up ta on Facebook an' 3. Searched fo' some "lost" niggas an' acquaintances. Why iz dis here so addictive?! My sister'sright about Friendster being passe, it'snot uh blocked website at werk, but Facebook iz. The smart folks know dat Facebook iz like crack-cocaine. How can we's git any werk done when all we's wants ta do iz smoke some pimp-tight Facebook? w0rd!

Translation: After 2 nights with Facebook, I am totally hooked. 2 hours flew by in a blink and here's what I accomplished: 1. Read 30 or so updates on what my "friends" have been up to (like Stefani received a fish from Aaron) while we're both online 2. Clicked on profiles of friends of friends and read what they've been up to on Facebook and 3. Searched for some "lost" friends and acquaintances. Why is this so addictive?!
My sister's right about Friendster being passe, it's not a blocked website at work, but Facebook is. The smart folks know that Facebook is like crack-cocaine. How can we get any work done when all we want to do is smoke some good Facebook?

I used the Ebonics translator (misnomer!) to generate the first part of my post. Funny stuff.

Plugs for Chris Elliot, Wikipedia, MOTR and little known sitcoms

I am a big fan of the short-lived sitcom that was broadcast in the early 90s, Get a Life. The show starred Chris Elliott as a 30 yr old paperboy living with his family and featured Stand by REM as its theme song. I thought it was the funniest and bravest thing on TV.
Many years later, when I was reminiscing about this show, very few people knew what I was talking about. I was hoping to find episode synopsises on the Internet. All I could dig up were some Chris Elliott bios that mentioned this show as stint on his resume.
Flash to around 2001, I discovered MTR (Museum of Television and Radio). You can actually watch or listen to most stuff that has been broadcast on TV or radio ("It is a curated collection. Programs have been selected on the basis of artistic achievement, social impact, or historic significance.") in your own console and they even have family consoles (for up to 4). So I got better than episode synopsises, I watched actual episodes of Get a Life at a classy museum joint. How cool is that?!
6 years later, 2007, I find a Wikipedia entry on Get a Life and learned that 2 DVDs were released! The timing is impeccable, I was just feeling so bummed that I've seen every episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Chris Elliott's jokes never get old for me -- "I just won the genetic lottery!" he proclaims on one show. While I wait for my Get a Life DVDs, I'm going to watch static-y, low quality videos from Youtube of another old sitcom, The Charmings and another brave show, Whoops Apocalypse. Here is the IMDB episode guide to Whoops Apocalypse. I'm so happy that commercially unsuccessful shows from the 80s and early 90s that I loved actually have cult followings.
HOURS upon HOURS can be killed at MTR!!! They totally need a dating scene. Or go there with your kids and watch My Little Pony, JEM, Snorks, Kissyfur, Gummi Bears, Thundercats etc.!!!

One for the husband

I complain all the time to my husband about how he selfishly hoards good experiences from me. For example, it can be an article he read in New Yorker that touched him in some way, but he mentions it in passing months later by casually asking me something to the effect of..."Did you read that article in New Yorker about chocolate...there was an interesting point on..." Of course I haven't and we've never spoken about it until now. Which irritates me for two reasons: One, I have a perception that when our New Yorker arrives, he snatches its up, devours its contents, then puts it in the garbage when he's done, so poor little me, I never get any literary stimulation and feel left in the lurch. Two, if I read or experience something interesting, emotional, stimulating, etc. I like to share it with him and get his take. (I'm trying to make this easier on both of us by making him read my blog instead of talking to him.)
Well recently, he gave me the equivalent of three dozen roses by sending me the link to the Transcript of Commencement Speech at Stanford given by Steve Jobs with a terse subject: I like this. I really enjoyed it, I cried through it and found it very inspirational. Thanks Josh! I love you.

Facebook Love-Hate...it's complicated

OK, my sister's been bugging me about going on Facebook, insists that Friendster is so passe. I tried to sign up with my real name but that doesn't work because Star is a common fake name. So I used my maiden name, "Kixxhaxaxxthin" as my real name. I tried to add Star as my maiden name so that I can be searched by both names but Facebook denied me. I tried to sign up Josh, but his name is like a pseudonym too...What the hell is up with these Facebook nazis? Stars everywhere, we have to unite and fight for our Facebook rights. It doesn't make any sense to me that something as random as ridiculously long Thai maiden name which could have been Sjsdjdslfklds or other gobbledy gook would be accepted while Star is forbidden.
It's going to take me a while to emotionally recover from these setbacks. I'm not motivated to write to the Facebook staff to plea for my real name or my husband's. But on the other hand, I'm totally sucked into the features! They are so creepily cool, I'm sure Facebook can just get your damn social and validate it with your name so we can rid ourselves of the pseudonym problem.

Let me publish my tell-all and get good concert tickets please!!!

I don't like blogs that are moderated and want all moderated blog owners to cease and desist the moderation-- I totally understand the reasoning in some cases but I'm frustrated by the end user experience of not being totally sure if my comments were submitted. I've seen it happen on multiple blogs where users have published 2 similar comments - how frustrating to have to type the same thing more than once. My theory is that comments to your blog will increase four fold if you un-moderate them. For blogs that aren't super active, can't you un-moderate your blog and if you need to, you can always delete or edit the comments post-publishing? Oh and while you're at it, take off the dang CAPTCHA rule - making your readers type in a series of letters to ensure that they are not a malicious computer program. For people with (visual?) disabilities like myself, it takes a few tries to decipher the odd-ball kerning to get it right-- so frustrating!!!
No wonder I never get good concert seats from Ticketmaster, all you CAPTCHA geniuses are getting this right on the first try. So please un-moderate your blogs and get rid of CAPTCHA -- It would make your readers so happy, we'll run amok and populate more comments on your blog. OthErWIseI'mgonNAhavEtoCAPTchaYamYSELF.
[Side note, read my friend Ari's blog and he explains CAPTCHA.]

Country full of type A(nal)

I find Japanese culture and mannerisms interesting. By US standards, it's a country full of type A people. Take for instance, the man who sat next to me at Cafe Zaiya. He had 2 sets of different Japanese newspapers. He proceeded to select 2 papers and gingerly laid them down opposite him (presumably for his companion, who hadn't arrived yet). Then he rotated both papers one at a time so that they would be right-side up for his companion. Then he centered smaller one on top of the larger one. Finally, he repeated all of these steps for himself. This automatic conscientiousness happened so fast that you would have missed it if you weren't watching. I shoulder-surfed him and saw an ad for either a bra or a bust enhancing service. I'm not sure because it was a Japanese newspaper. In the ad, there were two pictures, before and after. The before was labelled 34B. The after, 32D. The Japanese are so detail-oriented. Here in the US, when we talk about bust enhancement, we only focus on the cup size, not the band size or the overall shape or profile of the bust. There needs to be a holiday in the US where we celebrate the Japanese, we can learn so much from them.

Sex and Corruption

My apologies for the sensationalistic attention-grabbing subject, but it is relevant. Starting when my daughter was around 1 years old, I would try to threaten or bribe her. (Don't I sound like the model mom?) But her mind was so innocent that she never "got it". I'm pleased to say that after one year of intense home schooling, at 2 years old, she is cooperative for kiddie cocaine (goldfish) and very perceptive in understanding threats. So the age of innocence is over. But does this mean she has to look like the depraved monster that she is?

I'm spooked out by sexy clothes for little girls as well as sexy Halloween costumes for them. I became aware of a "chamber maid" costume for toddlers. With all due respect, (I read in Dilbert that once you say this phrase, anything can follow), to chamber maids everywhere, isn't that a euphemism for whore?

So...I happily bought some non-sexualized girl clothes today at Talbots. The cashier told me Talbots is commited to making non-sexualized kid's clothes. The clothes are really cute and well-maid (ha!) but I still think it's still a rip-off even at 50% off. But that's my own baggage, of wanting and expecting to pay like a $1 for three t-shirts.

Random thought -- Would I rather pay a premium to be a prude or a ho? Could this be a big business idea, the "Madonna-Whore" store?