Sunday, January 4, 2009

Million dollar idea - 24oz "big gulp" bottle?

7:40 PM and I walk sleepily down the stairs; I am so happy that the noisy twosome are finally asleep. My mind races with all the activities I can do - such as putting away the items from the suitcase from our Vermont trip, clearing the clutter on our desk and kitchen, cooking Sadie's lunch for tomorrow, maybe even go to bed early and other boring thoughts a suburban mom might have.

Daisee decides to ruin all of my fun and games. She wakes up screaming at the top of her lungs. She's acting like a crazy and pissed drug addicted junkie. I have no idea what she wants or how to calm her down. One tactic that usually works in a moment like this is to pick her up and walk around with her, but she's getting too heavy and I'm too tired to indulge her. I try a modified version of that by holding her close while I lie down. No dice. So I sit up and do the same thing, but she's still pissed. Then I asked my loving husband to make her 8oz. of milk in a bottle. Lots of thoughts are racing in my head - she's too old to be using a bottle and I'm afraid that after she finishes the 8oz, she will scream her head off, but 8 oz is the limit that a bottle will hold. Finally (probably only 90 seconds, but it felt a lot longer because she's screaming the entire time), Josh comes back with the bottle. I try to give it to her but she resists. So I force it into her mouth. Miraculously, she shuts up and peacefully begins to drink the milk. As she's drinking, I tell Josh about my fear that she will scream as soon as the bottle is finished and why don't they make a 24oz "big gulp" bottle for infants. I know it sounds silly but in moments of desperation and when you want to calm a screaming baby, all sorts of implausibilities start to make sense.
So my prediction comes true -- she finishes the 8oz in no time flat and starts to scream in fits of anger. I asked Josh to fill the bottle again. We agreed on 4oz. We repeat the entire cycle, ending with her screaming her head off after she finishes the second round of milk. Make another one, I command my husband - 8oz! He thinks 6 is enough so he comes back with 6. This time, her angry outbursts seem to be filled with more vim and vigor, probably fueled by 12oz of whole fat milk.
Then it occurs to me that she's pissed because she wants to play. We go downstairs and she immediately stops crying and is full of smiles. How can I take this sentient, moody, willful human being seriously?!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

And that tot packs a wallop when she cries - it's almost terrifying! When it happened here we finally gave her a little piece of challah and 'Mr. Hyde' became 'Dr. Jekyll' once more.