Thursday, February 28, 2008

Who's the boss?

So I'm sure you all know that I'm obsessed with blogs and that my favorite blog that started all of this fever is Beth's. In today's entry she made reference to Gaiam, a lifestyle purveyor of various goods, so of course I had to click on it. And I had to fall in love with everything on the website. I narrowed down one particular item that I'm especially interested in, a "stone hanger". Luckily, it's on sale, but it's still $40 for ONE! I mention this to my skin flint husband who immediately balked and started talking about how he could make one. So I sent him the picture and I think he realized that he probably can't make it without a special type of stone drill so he takes another approach to sabotage me:
"I don’t love them … they might be OK in a bathroom, but seems to me like it wouldn’t go with any of our d├ęcor … "
Normally I would retreat and go with whatever he suggests, as he seems to be right most of the time. But this time, I'm feeling a little downtrodden, having my parades rained on all the time, so I decide to take the bull by the horns:
"It would work in the bedroom which I just unilaterally decided should be in the eco theme. And I’m going to replace our sheets with organic or bamboo.
So anyway there're two points I'd like to make about this:
1. The first is that no matter how many times my husband talks in circles, doesn't make any sense or even outright lies to me, I forget that the reason behind it all is because he doesn't want to spend any money.
2. It's become unfortunately clear to me that he's the manager and I'm the employee. This is because I'm the one complaining all the time. If I actually felt empowered (like a manager), then I'd make decisions and move forward. Instead, I'm plagued by insecurity because I have to seek approval for all of my ideas.


frank said...

Every marriage has this kind of dialectic (opposing forces).It's not like manager and employee; rather like two managers. You know you married your spouse because you really do think he/she is right most of the time. Therefore you have to fight even against your better judgement for the things you want

frank said...

I read this again and I just want to re-affirm what a great blog I think this is especially the part about manager/employee. It's so insightful: unless you are pro-active you have left the decision up to someone else. You have to really believe in yourself.